Friday, 17 November 2017

Open Letter to Jackie Rowlands

Dear Jackie Rowlands,


This will also be published on my blog.

When you put the phone down on me and try to 'bounce'(block) my emails, it doesn't make your safeguarding failure or the abuse of me by the Bishop of Winchester go away, it compounds it. You are knowingly in the wrong and knowingly allowing a very very serious safeguarding failure to continue as well continuing to fail to remove and bring to justice wrongdoers such as the Bishop, the CEO of the Diocese of Winchester, and others.

Firstly let me explain to the general public what you are doing that is wrong.

I am the victim of repeat abuses and cover-up in the Diocese of Winchester, you are aware of this, and aware that the Bishop has done very open and outstanding wrong against me, and you have never contacted me or attempted to contact me about this, nor have you acted upon the Bishop's wrongdoing, which is serious enough to merit police action and action to remove him from all positions where he can access the vulnerable. Instead, by blocking and ignoring me, you are condoning his behaviour, condemning me without having spoken to me or gained my side of the story, and allowing the safeguarding risk to continue and making it very clear that you are not neutral and not competent at safeguarding.

In your recent safeguarding meetings at Wolvsley, why have you failed to remind the Bishop of my suffering and his responsibility?
Why have you not placed him under severe restrictions until he faces proper investigation, why have you met with him as if he is part of safeguarding in the Diocese? His wrongdoing is open and very evidenced, as is my distress.

How exactly are you able to go on operating as an aide to an abuser, which is essentially what the Bishop of Winchester is, as he knowingly went on harming me after being asked very clearly in 2013 to desist? See this example of him being asked to desist, which you will have seen before but will have ignored, but the general public reading this may not have see it:

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/1st-open-letter-bishop-winchester-0

When I phone you you put the phone down, and I phone to ask for proper intervention, action, and justice, nothing unreasonable. So you putting the phone down is a misconduct, and must be recorded as such, it doesn't matter what the Bishop, the failed and disgraced National Safeguarding Team or the compromised Archbishop say, if you are safeguarding and these people have done wrong and a vulnerable adult is suffering, at risk and in danger because of these people, you are obliged to act in a safeguarding capacity and put the victim first.

You appear confused as to your role. Safeguarding is not about acting to protect these wrongdoers and their roles, nor is it about protecting the church's image, and if you act to do those things rather than protect me and other victims who these people have harmed and denied justice to, then you have failed to safeguard.

You have been failing to safeguard me since you took your role and failed to contact me to start the process of investigation and justice regarding these wrongdoers, and in failing to communicate with me, and in failing to respond to my concerns, and in blocking me, you have shown yourself to lack impartiality, lack competence and lack understanding of safeguarding.

Every day that I have been left suffering anguish because of the open and unchallenged wrongdoing of Bishop Tim Dakin and Andrew Robinson, Jo Waller, the Diocese, yourself, Jane Fisher, and all employees, clergy and Laity of the Dioceses and Church, is a day that you have failed in safeguarding, every day that I have been open to hatred and attacks by strangers because of the Bishop's three year smear and discrediting campaign against me, every day that I have suffered because I have been condemned publicly, and every day that you in your silence, inaction and blocking of me, and making communication with you inaccessible, you have failed in safeguarding, you have failed to safeguard me.

The Bishop in his actions against me, has shown his hatred and contempt for me and for Jesus, and yet the Diocese of Winchester incredibly keeps a lie on their website about living Jesus' Mission or some incredible empty click-line.

My experience is that the Diocese neither knows Jesus nor understands safeguarding, what you understand and know is that you make an awful lot of money from your lie and your deception, and no-one is challenging you, no-one dares to, so if a few vulnerable adults are killed by abuse and cover-ups, no one will act, everyone will believe the archaic lie that they were 'mentally ill' and it isn't the church's fault. No one yet will ask, well why would the diocese be able to harm and abuse and destroy 'mentally ill' people and drive them to death?

You even, incredibly, link yourselves to the local social services who allowed Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts to destroy me and who tried to uphold the lie that their criminal behaviour was acceptable. And indeed now,social services still want to turn a blind eye.
Social services, well aware of hundreds of thousands of church abuse cases and the fact that the cases don't stop coming, should be forcibly stepping in and ensuring that the Church, the Diocese, is properly regulated. Not allowing you to link to them as part of your pretence of safeguarding.

The problem is, and always has been, the most vulnerable are the silent ones, and the church have spent a million pounds and 17 years destroying me because I am not silent, and I have to speak until this matter kills me because of that, they have no voice, I speak for them, and as a victim of repeat abuse and cover-up in the Diocese of Winchester, I can tell you with assurance, Jackie Rowlands, that you are not fit for your job, you are not safeguarding, and you have knowingly harmed a vulnerable adult and reinforced the condemnation of her by the church by your silence, your refusal to act, and your blocking of her.
Please arrange to leave to a more suitable position, and make sure that your replacement contacts me about the serious complex and potentially fatal abuse of me by the Bishop of Winchester. If you do not suspend him and start investigating his known wrongdoing, eventually someone will have to override all excuses and ask why.

Use the letters linked here as a starting guide in the investigation into the Bishop's abuse of me, and don't forget that the Bishop's abuse of me took Bob Hill's life two years ago, just after he wrote this final blog:

http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/jerseys-dean-letter-to-archbishop-of.html


http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/letter-questions-dioceses-winchester-and-canterbury

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/second-letter-questions-dioceses-winchester-and-canterbury

I know and am fully aware from many years of this serious misconduct by the Diocese of Winchester, that you will go on trying to ignore this matter and ignore me, condemn me and cast me aside as mad, but in doing so, you are making the biggest, loudest and most outstanding statement possible by the Diocese and by the Church of England about your contempt for safeguarding, your contempt for the vulnerable, and your unchristian and inhumane condemnation of me, that condemnation which remains in the unredacted lies and misleading press and media statements by the Bishop and Church, and which affects my welfare and wellbeing every single day, and will do until you act or I die.

Let me be very open with the general public about your blocking and ignoring me and refusing to act.
Influenced by the Bishop and Diocese, and your predecessor Jane Fisher, whose criminal actions will affect me for life, instead of contacting me when you took your position, despite you being aware that I was and am in distress, and despite you needing to contact me as my case remained unresolved, which you knew and know, you ignored me.
Many church of england victims complain of being ignored and treated sadistically, and here is an illustration for the general public.

http://jerseytoday.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/shades-of-things-about-to-come.html

So, you ignored me, and efforts were made by the church to set the police after me after the Bishop and Archbishop publicly destroyed me last year and continued to uphold every wrongdoer in my case.
The police were sent away with more than a flea in their ear and have still failed to act upon the criminal harm to me by the Diocese of Winchester - you as safeguarding representative, are obliged to stop sending them after me, as you did again recently, you will not stop me from speaking out by terrorizing me with the police, you are obliged to make sure that they deal with the criminal actions of the Bishop and diocese, if you can't, you are not a neutral or competent safeguarding representative.

You also should not be linked to Hampshire Social services as my case is an illustration of their failure to be neutral or protect a vulnerable church abuse victim due to their conflicted links with the Diocese.
If church abuse victims have no safe place to turn, something is seriously wrong.

Returning to the point, as my distress has worsened as time has gone by and you, the church, the national safeguarding team and other agencies and authorities have tried to hide your heads in the sand, pretend none of this is real and my distress is an excuse for inaction. This year I have contacted you repeatedly by phone, asking for you to act, you have refused to, and have continued to meet with the Bishop without holding him to account. Holding him to account would involve suspension and investigation, and obviously no such thing has happened. Good safeguarding would involve suspension and investigation, and as his wrongdoing is open and evidenced, and you have not acted, you are either not neutral or not competent.

There is no excuse for you to make any claim against me in defence, as no safeguarding official of any competence or ability would be influenced only by the defendants in a matter and their excuses, and in this case very powerful, dishonest and influential defendants, defendants who have spent a lot of money on PR, lawyers and advisers to cover up for themselves, while their victim, vulnerable, autistic and defenceless, has been destroyed even for her reaction to the abuse and cover up of these people. So you don't have the excuse of the hundreds of thousands of pounds of whitewash and cover-ups, as a safeguarding, you are obliged to be neutral and to investigate, the fact that you haven't and have tried to block me, indicates that you are not neutral or not competent.

So, you have put the phone down on me, ignored my messages, failed to contact me, failed to respond to my concerns or the evidence of wrongdoing. Failed to take action, failed to safeguard, failed to suspend the Bishop and the heads of the Diocese.

What else have you done? The general public need to know this complicated and clever truth.

You block emails, but in a clever way, 'bouncing' the emails with an automated message that 'excuses' you, a message claiming that you may not respond to emails and offering links to social services, which would indicate to any victim who didn't know as I do that social services are not behaving neutrally, that social services cannot be a source of help, support or protection while the Diocese are linked to them.
You give phone numbers, but if you put the phone down on victims or don't respond to them, you are not offering anything, you used to put notes about meetings on your 'bounce/block' message, but since I contacted the churches that you were doing the old 'after the horse has bolted' meetings, you stopped doing that.

Let me just explain to the general public what I learned from your predecessor. The 'After the horse has bolted' meetings are limits of the church's safeguarding, you wait until abuse has occured and then go and meet the church where the abuse has occured, to smooth things over. It isn't safeguarding.
According to your predecessor, she got hundreds of calls a month about abuse and misconduct, and that would indicate, considering the number of churches in the Diocese, that abuse was rife and unchecked.
And considering the fact that she destroyed, harassed and hounded me and did nothing about my abusers but supported them in vilifying me, that is hardly surprising, but your complicit behaviour is not better than her abusive behaviour.

So, poor old Basingstoke Deanery had an abuser you had to cover up for? And when you left details on your bounce/block email of your meeting with them, did they pass my message on to you?

Make sure that when you get this, you stop making yourself inaccessible to me and to other victims. Stop putting up a block/bounce message and make sure victims can contact you. Stop ignoring my emails and messages, it means that you are incompetent and not neutral, that you are not safeguarding and are not capable of safeguarding.

And don't make an excuse that you put another email address on your block/bounce message, as that is evidenced to be a restricted email as well.

You must act with urgency on this matter and respond properly, it is testimony to your incompetence and lack of neutrality and the Diocese's severe and criminal dishonesty and lack of Christianity or humanity that the Bishop has not been suspended and that you have failed to act on this matter except to try to silence me by blocking me since you took your position.

If you need any more references to the matter to guide you, try the website with my books on it. I would strongly recommend the Hill report and Very Cuttings, although, as Diocesan Safeguarding Official, you should already have read all of these, and it is testimony to your incompetence or lack of neutrality that you either haven't, or have and still haven't acted.
Here:  http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

I look forward to your immediate action or resignation, you have failed me and undoubtedly other victims, enough is enough, but at least your churches and the general public and authorities will be able to read this now even if your terrible safeguarding failure of silence continues, and the church's silence, refusal to act on my case and others, coupled with their falsehoods about safeguarding in the press and media are and only are, a massive safeguarding failure.

Make sure you fulfil your duties completely, and that will see suspensions and resignations at Winchester and Canterbury and a full independent (means outside the church and not conflicted) investigation, which this time includes my story, which the million pound whitewash didn't.

Remind the Bishop and his wife (who also needs to be investigated) that prayers will not silence me or take away their wrongdoing. God isn't going to do their bidding while they remain abusive and silent on their wrongdoing and unrepentant.

Finally, as repeatedly and frequently asked, you and the Bishop are to remove lies about my case from your website, publish a redaction and apology, and you are also obliged to remove all defamation of me and untruths about my case from online, and you have not done so, defamation means all the million pound whitewash, all the press and media lies, and why? Because I was and am recognizable, and the actions of the Bishop in leading the three year smear and discrediting attack on me has led to hate attacks, threats and violence against me, you have been asked to act and have failed, and that is your abuse of me and you forfeit your position as your incompetence has led to me being abused and harmed. Make sure you act as soon as you get this letter, and you will get this letter, via social services, the police, the general public or your churches.

Remember also, that Peter Hancock is openly conflicted in this matter and has openly upheld the harm to me and Key wrongdoers, and is obliged not to be involved in this formal complaint as he is conflicted and has evidenced himself to have no understanding whatsoever of safeguarding.
As you know, he protected the wrongdoers in this matter, even to the point of openly upholding them and claiming to the press to give Key wrongdoers a position where they would have access to the vulnerable, even though they were removed under church legislation from ordained positions for their serious safeguarding failures in my case, see this link, nothing will remove these letters even though the church obsessively try and try to give them the thumbs down, and eventually when a strong and stable government come to power, who will allow an abusive and dangerous organization such as the church to continue, there will be an investigation:

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-bishop-peter-hancock-his-unsuitability-head-safeguarding

71 people died in the Grenfell Tower Tragedy, and I will never undermine how horrific that is, how unforgivable the failures are that allowed that to happen, but tens of thousands have died at the hands of the church of england, from abuse and denial of justice. And I am living death, and that makes everything you do from day to day, under the label of 'safeguarding', utterly worthless.


sincerely,

your victim because you have failed and harmed me, and victim of the Godless, abusive and dangerous Diocese of Winchester.


JJ

Friday, 10 November 2017

Lets get rambling and incoherent for Macsas

Start with the non-macsas, to be annoying.

Dear Diocese of Winchester,

Is there any sign of the Bishop understanding the impact of his abuse of me yet?
And any sign of him stopping being a coward and stepping forward to end my suffering?

The thing is, the church have shown ultimate hypocrisy in this, destroying me publicly while protecting abusers to avoid scandal for the church.

When I was part of the church, and one of my youth leaders was convicted of child abuse at the school where he worked, but presumably not in Romania where he was also allegedly abusing orphans, the church tried to keep it silent in the parishes and disconnect him from the church.

But I didn't know about the church being corrupt and dishonest, I was naive. So I expressed my horror at the man who had led our youth group doing such terrible things.
I was damned and told that God would judge me the same as the abuser.

And to punish me further, the Korris rubbish whimpered about me being 'unforgiving' for speaking out on something that the church had tried to keep silent. That was purely a vindictive lie by Jane Fisher, by the way I haven't had a reply to my complaint about her yet.

But the church didn't publicly destroy Malcolm Eastlake, they let him feel forgiven and go on with a normal life.
While the church destroyed me for years, and for three of those years it was public destruction. And before that, it certainly wasn't secret as I was slandered round my communities and driven out. I can't live a normal life as a fugitive who is still attacked and put at risk over what the Bishop has done, and with no access to help because of the way I have been branded to the authorities.
Eastlake, the abuser, was told he 'was a good man really' and the 'church forgave him' but unfortunately the church are selective in who they condemn and forgive, and as yet I see no sign of 'forgiveness' for being a church abuse victim.
Destroying me publicly while I screamed and screamed for help wasn't forgiveness, it was condemnation and hatred and you didn't inflict it on Malcolm Eastlake, so why did you inflict it on me?

When the Bishop steps forward to show integrity and explain why he has done this to me on top of everything I have survived, would he like to explain why the church have treated me worse than a man who gets sexual gratification from children? Those children will be affected by the abuse for life, as I am.

The Bishop and Archbishop, with all their grandeuer and falsehoods to the press and media, appear to have no respect for God or a vulnerable human life.
The Church needs to be regulated so that lawless crooks such as Dakin, Wilmott and Welby would face immediate and proper police action for the kind of abuse that they have inflicted on me, and instant dismissal. They are not ordained by God, they are chosen by 10 Downing Street and the Queen, and nothing in what they are or do, represents Jesus or His teachings, it is a terrible sham, that in this day and age shouldn't continue at the expense of the vulnerable.

Please remind the Bishop that he is still abusing me by leaving me suffering and not taking responsibility for his destruction of me for and with the Jersey Deanery and the lack of investigation into what happened to me in Jersey, his silence doesn't make his liability go away, it simply increases his horrific negligence which is killing a vulnerable adult in suffering beyond bearing or healing.

JJ



Dear Charities Commission,

I would like to proceed with my formal complaint against Macsas. Please could I have the forms. I fit the category of a vulnerable client and former client of this charity who is speaking up about their misconduct. If I don't speak up, they may kill other vulnerable people, if they haven't already. Other survivors have shared their concerns about macsas with me.

I have had contact with Macsas, the 'clergy abuse charity' for just under a decade, and they have never behaved well or professionally, and have acted at all times in favour of, for and on behalf of the church of england, my abusers. Which is hardly surprising as one of the leaders of Macsas is also a church of england employee, and my experience is that macsas are akin to a branch of the church, and certainly in their siding with the church at all times and facilitating slander of me in the church times, this would appear to be the case.

The most recent incident involved a drunk male member of macsas alone with me, trying ignorantly to push the church of england's slander of me onto me, trying to uphold the church in their destruction of me as an abuse victim to cover their backs, and when I said what about my side of things, he said he 'had tried to read it but it was rambling and incoherent'.

Two points to make there, why if he didn't understand my story, did he continue to uphold the church's? Are they autistic and profoundly traumatized and psychologically damaged? No, so why does their story get macsas's priority, to the point where macsas nearly killed me by facilitating slander of me in the press? Why didn't this man and his colleagues, knowing of my disability, make the effort to clarify my case? After all, they kept involving themselves?
Why would anyone, try to force on an abuse victim, their abusers' side of things like that drunk macsas man did? Why would a charity for abuse victims behave like this? As if the victim was a fake and had no side to things? 

Charities commission, this link below is a rather angry but perfectly relevant description done after Macsas facilitated the church times, who had already slandered and defamed me for two years for the church, in continuing to harm me in the incident that nearly caused my suicide. This letter is from two years ago, and sadly under Macsas's biased eye, the harm to me has continued unchecked. They claim to care about mandatory reporting but have allowed a victim to be publicly destroyed on the abuser's word that the victim is mad and bad, would they survive being publicly destroyed if they were vulnerable and broken and abused? 


At the end of this email I also attach a letter to the macsas man who destroyed me when he was drunk, there is extensive reference to Frank Beck, because the macsas man decided to squash up to me in the pub, where he and his friends were drinking and I wasn't, and talk about Frank Beck, triggering dangerous flashbacks for me.

Macsas have yet to answer this letter and to answer my complaint, they have tried to set their solicitor on me, indicating that they have done wrong and know they have done wrong.
The damage to me by the church is horrific, the church spent a million pounds whitewashing my case, and macsas have upheld the whitewash at all times, even eagerly contacting me in 2013, forgetting to apologize for their horrific damage to me previously, in their eagerness to uphold what was essentially a church-centred, church-completed, whitewash of my case.
When macsas eagerly contacted me to thrust that horrific public attack of a 'report' onto me, they didn't appear to realize that a church version of events, carried out by a church member, without my side of things, and thrust into the press and media to trigger hate attacks, was not a report, it was an attack, and macsas supported this attack to me.

They failed, when contacting me to support the attack, to even consider the impact on me, and they also failed to apologize for breaking the law in 2011, by enabling my abusers to have my location and slander me out of all homeless services and outreach when I was homeless because of the church and macsas had refused to help me to restrain the church who were still harming me to cover up for their actions which had made me homeless.

As I write this, I recall the drunk macsas man telling me he 'glanced' at my emails about the church.
For four years the church of england have destroyed me publicly since the launch of that whitewash 'report' that destroyed me to cover up for the now removed rogue safeguarding official in the church of england who destroyed me to cover up for abuse of me, to protect the church's image.
I have emailed macsas many times about the situation, but they have only ever involved themselves in my case on behalf of other people, mainly the church of england, and have ignored anything I say.
Macsas really are not a charity for abuse victims, they are a branch of the church of england, a branch linked through one of their key members being a church employee, and his job, presumably, for the church and macsas, is to protect the church, warn them of victim's intentions and distress, and make sure no justice is ever realized.
That being the case, that has been extremely effective in my case.
So while Macsas have persistently been involved on behalf of the church, and harmed me, anything I say is 'glanced at' or treated as rambling and incoherent, as the drunk macsas man said as he rubbished me alone in that car park.

Is this letter rambling and incoherent? I am autistic and have survived, but barely, a childhood of severe abuse, an adulthood of being abused and destroyed to cover up in the church of england, and most recently a four year public smear campaign by the church that involved a million pounds of whitewash reports, lawyers, PR firms and press and media, all of that was the church's, I was alone and voiceless throughout. 
My writing, on my blogs and in books, is only as rambling and incoherent as this letter, the reality is that macsas were geared towards protecting the church, believing the church, not least because they didn't want to be responsible for their own atrocious failings, and so the man from macsas and his colleagues simply 'glanced' at my emails, and did nothing as I was destroyed.

Macsas, having involved themselves right at the beginning of the recent three year smear campaign and million pound whitewash, contacting me unsolicited with no apology for previous behaviour, to thrust the church's lying defamatory report that was made public in the press and media, then went back to ignoring me, no reason given, 'glancing' at my cries for help, and facilitating lies and attacks on me, such as that in the church times, the ignorance and danger of a man who claims he cannot see the victim's side 'because she is rambling and repetitive' is horrendous. The charity are obliged and should anyway, have some understanding of disabilities and vulnerability, and should never make comments like that, especially not after repeating her abuser's side back to her.

What Macsas have done, culminating in leaving me having a breakdown at the beginning of October as the drunk macsas man upheld the lies about me, blatant lies, ignorantly and stating them as if they were truth, without my side, is they have aided abusers in harming their victim.

The drunk man followed that up by rubbishing my side of things, now is this brief paragraph rambing and repetititve? Or do Macsas need some training and education regarding abuse and vulnerability and how abusers behave? From everything they have done to me, leaving me at the mercy of my abusers 'because I was homeless', enabling my abusers to trace me while I was homeless, driving me from homeless services with slander, bursting back into my life without apology to uphold the church's public smear attack on me, refusing my cries for help and facilitating attacks on me in the press such as the church times, with no objection to the attacks, especially the one that nearly caused my suicide, and then more recently rubbishing me on lies of my abusers and rubbishing my side of things, the drunk macsas man alone with me, destroying me over again and leaving me in collapse. 

Is that a good charity for abuse victims? No. It is one that has, throughout, aided abusers and helped them to destroy a victim.

I wake up from nightmares and in distress at the way macsas has treated me, and they have tried to set their inter-conflicted macsas-member solicitor on me rather than deal with my complaint, and as yet their solicitor's law firm also hasn't commented on this new abuse of power.

No matter what happens, a report will be produced and published that includes Macsas harming me. That is a very succinct and not at all rambling statement. But I would like the charities commission to deal with macsas first. The harm to me by the church has been bad enough, Macsas actively harming me, to the point of slandering me to my family and aiding my abusers in destroying me, is not something to be left any longer, even if they do think they can do as they please and hide behind badly behaved barristers and solicitors. No organization is above the law in the country, apart from the church of england, who truly are.

Macsas should not have facilitated the lawless church in harming me, the church were very capable of extensive damage on their own, and if you think about how macsas have blindly believed the church in my case, think about the hate attacks I have suffered and do suffer, as a result of the church's open vilification of me, it leaves me as a destitute fugitive, who at any time can be forced to flee, can't earn a living, can't claim benefits, can't have therapy or support, because their is no safety or permanence because of the church. I slept rough for years not just because of trauma, but to keep myself safe as macsas eagerly helped the church to continue to trace and destroy me.

When I went to Canterbury it was a leap of faith and hope, to hope to be part of, and support, change and justice for church abuse victims, I didn't know that a badly behaved macsas man would be there to drunkenly tell me that my life story was one of the worst abuse cases he had ever heard, before he destroyed me for the church of england and left me having a breakdown. If I had known that macsas would be at canterbury for the abuse protest, I would have known that the protest was a complete sham. Macsas would be there on behalf of the church, no other reason.

Macsas need to be regulated, they are very aimless, lawless, and dangerous, especially to church of england abuse victims as they are basically an undeclared and harmful branch of the church.
I will never recover from my recent experience at Canterbury, being destroyed when I couldn't take any more ham.

This is the letter I enclosed to the macsas man, macsas and the church who they work for, are silent about Bob's account of my case, because they can't rubbish him as 'rambling and incoherent' when they attack me in the church times or drunkenly in a car park:


The other letter the macsas man was given after his attack on me was my psychological report, also attached.

I have attached the hill report as well, but it is heavy reading. A bit beyond Macsas' limited capabilities. Macsas can get about as far as reading the lines that the church of england send them 'This is what happened, please parrot this for us'. 

It is time for Macsas to go, I spent last night in nightmares over their harm to me, and woke this morning in severe distress. 

Macsas, this will be posted on my blog, you may rate it for rambling, incoherence, and any other criticisms of it not meeting your needs as a special cover-up branch of the church of england. I do not know how many other victims have been put off standing up for themselves against you and your employers, the church of england, but what I do know is that people who have not been drunk like your member at Canterbury, have told me that my work helps and inspires them and encourages them to speak out. 
I may never recover from your harm, but I know that I have and can go on overriding your attacks, because it is what the people who have given feedback on my blog says that matters, not your hatred and contempt on behalf of your employers, the church of england.



JJ - victim of the church of england and their macsas

Saturday, 4 November 2017

Winchester

A letter to the Bishop of Winchester regarding his abuse of me and abuse of power in public office, sent CC the police, who cannot continue to withold action against the Bishop. 22/10/17


Dear Bishop Tim Dakin,

You are aware of my distress at your wrong behaviour, and you are aware of Bob Hill being forced to defend my life with his own, nearly losing his life, and being left severely disabled. As you are aware of this, and of your dishonesty in publicly destroying me, there is no excuse for your silence as I go on suffering. You have a duty of care, and your dishonesty against me publicly has not been resolved. So your silence is inappropriate and an abuse.

In 2013 you launched on me and you launched on the man who had me destroyed. I was street homeless, profoundly traumatized, and without any access to help due to your Diocese having me branded and driven from services that would have helped me. However, the man who destroyed me, who you also launched upon, had money, power, a home paid for by the church, lawyers, powerful friends in government, and all the tools needed to ensure that your attack on us both was turned solely upon me, and I was destroyed publicly for three years by him and his clergy and laity, and by you, as you scapegoated me to cover your misconduct in your public launch against me.

Your scapegoating because you were unwilling to be responsible for your wrongdoing, led to Bob Hill giving up his retirement to fight for me, his integrity and courage earned him 31 years in the MET police with a BEM for his work with the vulnerable, and nearly 20 years in the States, challenging the evil and corrupt men who you enabled to destroy me. Your dishonesty and cowardice cost a good man his life, a man who didn't wear frocks and stand in front of an elderly and narrowminded congregation as part of an untruth as you do, but a man who instead lived what Jesus preached and exampled while you treated and treat what Jesus taught and exampled with contempt, indeed what you have done is abuse, and 18 months of you continuing to preach and hold office after what you have done is a very terrible thing in God's eyes. You took my life to protect yourself, and you think you can represent Christ? 

In order to represent Christ, you have to take responsibility and punishment for what you have knowingly done.
In everyday life, if I am recognized, people repeat the church's hateful public condemnation of me back to me, because my side wasn't recorded to balance things out, each time that happens, I am destroyed and it nearly causes instant suicide, and will cause instant suicide at some point as I am worn down You are responsible, you had me destroyed over the destruction of me already carried out by the church.
What you have done against me is a prolonged act of criminal harm, abuse, harassment. 

Your predecessor, Scott-Joynt had already destroyed me for his failures, having me brutalized, imprisoned, left homeless, slandered to homeless services, my community, friends and family, but he died in denial but without being able to escape the fact that he had done wrong, all the applause for him on earth is worth nothing as his lack of repentance has taken him to hell. 

But you took everything he and the rogue safeguarding director Jane Fisher did to me and used it to publicly destroy me, spewing their side of things into every press and media without redaction, apology or mercy. You ignored my screams of anguish with a coldness that belies your more recent forced pretences of care, and you destroyed everything I tried to build, taking my life, friends, home, work, and most recently my university studies, because I couldn't sustain those things against your harm to me.

During the three years in which you had me publicly destroyed and hid behind your expensive PR firm and lawyers, spewing out discrediting lies about me and my case to protect yourself while I suffered beyond belief, you failed to make sure I had the same voice and PR representation, you had a lone homeless vulnerable adult destroyed, without apology, without redactions or corrections and without her voice being published in her defence, what you did was an ultimate act of cruelty and abuse, on a par with chaining a dog and kicking it in the face relentlessly, and yet the police would have been quicker to take action if you had done that to a dog, than they are being with what you have done to a human being.
The National Safeguarding Team's liaison with you to hush the matter up at my expense and defend your open abuse of me, has severely damaged me and invalidated them, they have reverted to your and their policy of silence to make the victim go away, a national church of england policy, but, it has not made your responsibility or the injustice go away. They should all have left their positions for aiding you in your attempt on my life and the cover-ups as well as behaving as they have, and putting a vulnerable life in danger and condoning your abuse. But you remain unrepentant, unpunished, and most importantly, liable.
Your silence will never make this matter go away, what it will do will make people ask why you were silent as I suffered, when your liability is obvious, and why you went on officiating without a conscience.
You remain obliged, if you are to go on officiating, to provide equivalent money and resources for my side of things to be heard in the press and media on the same level as you allowed my abusers and their supporters to be upheld in the press and media for three years. 

You are also obliged to remove the Korris report from online, state my views on it and offer a public apology and redaction, you haven't done so, and your fake apologies for the benefit of your back-covering press releases don't count.
You need to show integrity in explaining that your public whipping of me stemmed from the cover up of your rogue safeguarding officer who destroyed me to protect the church, while she was also a reader in your diocese, and although her wrongdoing was open, you ignored my complaints against her and didn't publicly flog her or anyone else who had harmed me, I alone was publicly horsewhipped for the church's crimes, on top of the church's cruel and remorseless destruction of me which the Korris report was created and shared internationally to cover up for and permanently shame and silence me.

I gather you were banking on my suicide in the first year, 2013, so that you could unchallenged destroy me in  death, it hasn't worked out, although I am living death, and I want justice before I die, and I hold you solely responsible for the whole matter. I want your resignation and I want police action against you. And I don't care that the church's vast interconflicted power and fear of the church has meant that the police and all other agencies and bodies have refused to act upon your harm to me so far, you have taken my life and left me living death, and you go and stand in church and try to preach about Jesus, when no risk assessment has been done on you for your callous severely destructive harm to me. You have shown such disregard for my life and wellbeing, despite all your incredibly hypocritical pretences, that, as I told the University of Winchester, no matter what their bias in favour of the church is, you pose a safeguarding risk to vulnerable students.

You also pose a risk to the vulnerable in any church-related organization, and children in schools, one of the reasons that offending by clergy is so prolific is that the church don't safeguard, and no organization dares to stand up to the church, and all of you abusive clergy can access the vulnerable easily through church-linked organizations, and that will continue until the church are regulated to prevent lawless interconfliction and clergy use of institutions for the vulnerable as unpaid brothels. What you have done to me is on a par with any clergyman abusing a vulnerable adult in those settings, no worse, most don't boast about their abuse in the press and media as you did while you abused me.

Your more recent safeguarding officer, Jackie Rowlands has exampled how nothing has changed in safeguarding since rogue safeguarding officer Jane Fisher, who destroyed me, left quietly without being subject to any embarassment for her conduct, think of that in the context of the way you destroyed me, Fisher broke the law with impunity to drive and hound me even after she had made me homeless, her actions would have driven most to suicide, just as yours would. You tried to ignore the complaint against her and allowed her to go on being harmfully involved against me in your destruction of me, until she quietly left, no defamation of her in the press as there was with me, nor too, was the real reason Bob Key left his position advertised, he was also lauded and upheld, not even held to account by the press and media who you destroyed me with.

Jackie Rowlands has tried to ignore my disclosure of abuse against you, tried to do as your staff and the national safeguarding team do to me and other victims, put the phone down and ignore emails. Safeguarding who? Well, the wrongdoers in the church, as ever. Jackie Rowlands in blocking me and upholding you, has, the same as the national safeguarding team, failed in her position, harmed a vulnerable adult and declared herself unfit to work with the vulnerable as she protects abusers.

On the subject, the police need to ask about your most recent police attack by the way. More questions about who set it up, and at what time, because your police attack was an act of harassment, based on dishonesty, you lied to the police, again, and on top of your police attack last year, leaving me homeless for the second time in a year, needs to be looked at very closely, the church do not have the right to be above the law or use the police for their own service, and you have lied to the police in order to entrap me to suit yourselves. You have used the police against me with impunity, adding to your destruction beyond anything a human being can cope with, and yet, they have so far, jumped at your orders and failed to investigate you or charge you with abuse. And they must now do so.

The damage that you and every complicit agency or authority have done in abuse, allowing abuse, branding me, and not stopping harm to me, is so severe and so compounded that there is no recovery, hope or future for me. Your dishonesty-based attempt to tell the police that I would self harm is absolutely ludicrous and hypocritical considering the callous way you have taken my life, left me living death and destroyed everything I built up.

Your safeguarding officer, Jackie Rowlings has been obliged to investigate and take action, and she hasn't done so. It is time for her to leave for a more suitable position that does not involve the lives and safety of the vulnerable, and it is time for you to stop hiding behind the other  criminal wrongdoers such as the Archbishop and the Bishop of Bath and Wells or your lawyers or PR firms or 'advisors', what you have done is wrong, criminally so, and it hasn't gone away and it won't go away, it is time for you to do the decent thing, make sure my side is heard, resign from ordained positions - the church are obliged to remove you but haven't - and make sure the police hear the full story of your abuse of me.

While I wait for justice and you to take responsibility, I suffer, and you know I suffer, and you know that you are responsible. And yet you have continued to officiate at services, and even show off in the press, with that silly posed picture of yourself. Narcissism and psychopathy are not pretty qualities and do not look good posed in the press.

Please don't keep me living death. Ultimately, as I have said to you, the best thing for me will be my death, because my soul is destroyed beyond healing, and if only the police had done their job and restrained you and your clergy and laity in 2013, I could still have lived, damaged forever, but I could have rebuilt, I know that because I went on trying, building, even as you destroyed me, but you kept on and on taking my life away, until it got too late.
You repeatedly made it impossible for me to continue therapy, I invested time, money and trust in that therapy, and to see it broken because of your agenda in destroying me and covering up for the church's wrongdoing was catastrophic.
Are you aware, as the police should be, that I intend to go to Dignitas because your three year abuse of me took my life beyond healing? And are you also aware that suicide is legal in the UK, as long as it isn't assisted? This being the case, why did you and Jackie and Jane and Graham act dishonestly over claiming I was harming myself? The police need to know times, who was involved, and why. Self-harm of any kind is not illegal, abuse is, and you have abused me. You destroyed me, now why didn't the police call on you to arrest you for assisted suicide when your attempt on my life 18 months ago should have killed me.

Now, the police must act. And bring this horror story to an end. The police have been told very clearly to stop harassing me for you, they have been told the consequences, and they have been told to deal with you. Your silence regarding your harm to me, and your persistent use of the police against me illegally and without question, is to be investigated. If you and the police continue to make me out to be nuts to excuse you, what about your psychopathy that took my life?
 Your turn to be beaten and imprisoned.
I sit here and suffer, and you really couldn't care less. Your silence says so, and yet you can attack me with the police in pretence of care. Enough is enough, and I have told the police so. The Church of England have harmed me since I was 19 years old, I had 17 years of the worst childhood possible, and then an adulthood of the church destroying me for their crimes. I don't want to live, I can't live, with what you have done to me, your blame and condemnation of me through whitewash reports and lies and press and media smears.

Do you really not comprehend what you have done, and do you really intend to continue officiating without bringing any justice to my case? You have had me publicly smeared, discredited and destroyed, for no apparent reason at all except to protect wrongdoers, and why was that necessary? I was already effectively destroyed, branded, silenced, and left homeless to die? The point of violently re-punishing me publicly escapes me, but it is abuse, it is a criminal offence. The fact that the national safeguarding team and Jackie Rowlands uphold you and have harmed me further and without mercy says that they uphold abuse, are a danger to the vulnerable and are without morals or conscience.

Make sure you answer me, and the police must contact you and start to deal with this now. Every day that goes by without justice and with me smeared and branded and a fugitive is a day that you are an abuser who hasn't been brought to justice, and a day that I scream in anguish and wait for living death to become death.

The whole 17 years of church of england harm to me, especially the million pound three year reign of hatred that you led against me, has yet to be investigated, and as you are the lead attacker and abuser, who gave every wrongdoer a voice against me in the press and media, how about you provide the same money and press and media for me to answer that attack for three years, and I will do to you and the people who you enabled to hate and smear me, what you have done to me, but what would be the difference? You all have homes, families, money, lawyers, stability and a foundation, I had nothing, you took my family, friends and community in your hatred, and I had nothing else, and what little I built, you took, you have taken my access to medical help, therapy, support of any kind. Living condemned utterly and without access to help, a fugitive, living dead, is no life.

Your victim,


JJ 

I can't for the life of me remember who wrote it...

But it is so frucking funny. That I have to repost it.


Waiting for HG

The media battle over the case of HG has been coming to the forefront of the news over the last year, largely as a result of proactive pushes by the church hierarchy in Jersey to obtain the Steel report.

Although it contained background information about the policy of chaperoning a churchwarden who was to tactile with women, and who was the subject of HG’s complaint, it has been widely seen that the Korris report was flawed in some respects. Not least of these was the inability of Jan Korris to interview HG herself, and yet to press ahead with the report regardless, basing HG’s testimony on emails from her to others; the obvious flaw in this is that it gives only one side of the story, and a highly selective one, as HG may have been angry in some emails, and those undoubtably were those selected to pass on to Korris by participants in the review both in Winchester and Jersey.

And while Korris mentioned that HG had been bound over to leave Jersey, and forcibly placed on a plane and left destitute in England, she failed to mention that this binding over to leave Jersey  could not have occurred had Michael Scott-Joynt decided to withdraw a complaint of harrassment, leaving just that of Bob Key, the Dean of Jersey,  standing.

The Bishop’s decision to published precipitated a crisis in which Winchester and Jersey were at loggerheads. This was not helped by the politicisation of the whole matter, which shifted the focus from HG onto the conflict between Bishop Tim Dakin and Dean of Jersey, Bob Key. Instrumental in this were Gavin Ashenden, Sir Philip Bailhache, and Bruce Willing, all of whom vilified HG.

Sir Philip wrote a letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury, and this seems to have involved access to confidential material, which he had been seen perusing on a plane trip between London and Jersey. Having blasted the passengers who had brought it to the attention of Deputy Trevor Pitman, as “malicious” and making them out to be liars, he finally grudgingly issued a statement in which he said he could have only had information in the public domain and not police records, and anyway he has been confused about which flight it was, and he didn’t really mean to brand the passengers “malicious”. It was a grudging apology because his position was untenable, but evidently he was amassing material to send to Canterbury in which he appeared to show not one whit of concern or compassion for HG. He even mooted the idea of an independent Diocese of Jersey. Such delusions of grandeur. A big fish in a small pond.

Meanwhile the Bishop had decided to take refuge behind a press agency, the rather pagan sounding Luther Pendragon, and commissioned two more reports by Dame Heather Steel, and Bishop Gladwin. Dame Steel, of course, as a QC, had met Sir Philip Bailhache, so could not be seen as impartial anyway. It may be remembered that in the UK, there were two attempts by the Government  to place conflicted persons in charge of an inquiry into historic child abuse, both of which folded under public criticism. It is not enough to be unbiased, there must be no suspicion that their could be bias, and in the case of Dame Heather, that certainly was not the case. Like Korris, she failed to engage with HG, but completed her report anyway.

The Bishop then decided to sit on the report, much to the chagrin of the Jersey church “rat pack” who were trying to get it seen to justify their position that Bob Key was a good guy – despite him admitting he made safeguarding mistakes – and Tim Dakin was a bad guy. A delegation led by the Chief Minister went to the UK, led by the Chief Minister, and with the Bailiff, the brother of Sir Philip, to get the report published but came away empty handed.

Meanwhile HG was asking for the report not to be published as she had suffered enough trauma already and it was destroying her life. Deaf and insensitive, the Jersey Church “rat pack” continued and no doubt will continue to complain., because until it is published, they can’t play their religious politics against the Bishop.

The latest development has been a sit down dinner with the Archbishop for the Dean and his wife, and an informal apology for all the hurt they had suffered, which was made public soon afterwards. It was only a supper, alas, and not the Last Supper, and no thirty pieces of silver for betraying HG in the first place.

Newspapers publish the story because it sells, and they don’t seem to be aware of the hurt it causes to HG, except as they can ask her to give “her side of the story”, and thus make a relativism of truth. The Bishop did send an email apology to HG, but still can’t leave alone as requested. And the Jersey Church “rat pack”, are still stirring the pot like the old hags in Shakespear’s Macbeth.

Where is HG in all of this? Like the play “Waiting for Godot”, her voice is not heard, and she is a presence of stage, while others strut their stuff and take centre stage.




end.

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

A letter send to churches in the Diocese of Winchester and the Police

A letter to the Bishop of Winchester regarding his abuse of me and abuse of power in public office, sent CC the police, who cannot continue to withold action against the Bishop. 22/10/17


Dear Bishop Tim Dakin,

You are aware of my distress at your wrong behaviour, and you are aware of Bob Hill being forced to defend my life with his own, nearly losing his life, and being left severely disabled. As you are aware of this, and of your dishonesty in publicly destroying me, there is no excuse for your silence as I go on suffering. You have a duty of care, and your dishonesty against me publicly has not been resolved. So your silence is inappropriate and an abuse.

In 2013 you launched on me and you launched on the man who had me destroyed. I was street homeless, profoundly traumatized, and without any access to help due to your Diocese having me branded and driven from services that would have helped me. However, the man who destroyed me, who you also launched upon, had money, power, a home paid for by the church, lawyers, powerful friends in government, and all the tools needed to ensure that your attack on us both was turned solely upon me, and I was destroyed publicly for three years by him and his clergy and laity, and by you, as you scapegoated me to cover your misconduct in your public launch against me.

Your scapegoating because you were unwilling to be responsible for your wrongdoing, led to Bob Hill giving up his retirement to fight for me, his integrity and courage earned him 31 years in the MET police with a BEM for his work with the vulnerable, and nearly 20 years in the States, challenging the evil and corrupt men who you enabled to destroy me. 

Your dishonesty and cowardice cost a good man his life, a man who didn't wear frocks and stand in front of an elderly and narrowminded congregation as part of an untruth as you do, but a man who instead lived what Jesus preached and exampled while you treated and treat what Jesus taught and exampled with contempt, indeed what you have done is abuse, and 18 months of you continuing to preach and hold office after what you have done is a very terrible thing in God's eyes. You took my life to protect yourself, and you think you can represent Christ? In order to represent Christ, you have to take responsibility and punishment for what you have knowingly done.

In everyday life, if I am recognized, people repeat the church's hateful public condemnation of me back to me, because my side wasn't recorded to balance things out, each time that happens, I am destroyed and it nearly causes instant suicide, and will cause instant suicide at some point as I am worn down You are responsible, you had me destroyed over the destruction of me already carried out by the church.
What you have done against me is a prolonged act of criminal harm, abuse, harassment. 

Your predecessor, Scott-Joynt had already destroyed me for his failures, having me brutalized, imprisoned, left homeless, slandered to homeless services, my community, friends and family, but he died in denial but without being able to escape the fact that he had done wrong, all the applause for him on earth is worth nothing as his lack of repentance has taken him to hell. 

But you took everything he and the rogue safeguarding director Jane Fisher did to me and used it to publicly destroy me, spewing their side of things into every press and media without redaction, apology or mercy. You ignored my screams of anguish with a coldness that belies your more recent forced pretences of care, and you destroyed everything I tried to build, taking my life, friends, home, work, and most recently my university studies, because I couldn't sustain those things against your harm to me.

During the three years in which you had me publicly destroyed and hid behind your expensive PR firm and lawyers, spewing out discrediting lies about me and my case to protect yourself while I suffered beyond belief, you failed to make sure I had the same voice and PR representation, you had a lone homeless vulnerable adult destroyed, without apology, without redactions or corrections and without her voice being published in her defence, what you did was an ultimate act of cruelty and abuse, on a par with chaining a dog and kicking it in the face relentlessly, and yet the police would have been quicker to take action if you had done that to a dog, than they are being with what you have done to a human being.

The National Safeguarding Team's liaison with you to hush the matter up at my expense and defend your open abuse of me, has severely damaged me and invalidated them, they have reverted to your and their policy of silence to make the victim go away, a national church of england policy, but, it has not made your responsibility or the injustice go away. They should all have left their positions for aiding you in your attempt on my life and the cover-ups as well as behaving as they have, and putting a vulnerable life in danger and condoning your abuse. But you remain unrepentant, unpunished, and most importantly, liable.

Your silence will never make this matter go away, what it will do will make people ask why you were silent as I suffered, when your liability is obvious, and why you went on officiating without a conscience.
You remain obliged, if you are to go on officiating, to provide equivalent money and resources for my side of things to be heard in the press and media on the same level as you allowed my abusers and their supporters to be upheld in the press and media for three years. You are also obliged to remove the Korris report from online, state my views on it and offer a public apology and redaction, you haven't done so, and your fake apologies for the benefit of your back-covering press releases don't count.

You need to show integrity in explaining that your public whipping of me stemmed from the cover up of your rogue safeguarding officer who destroyed me to protect the church, while she was also a reader in your diocese, and although her wrongdoing was open, you ignored my complaints against her and didn't publicly flog her or anyone else who had harmed me, I alone was publicly horsewhipped for the church's crimes, on top of the church's cruel and remorseless destruction of me which the Korris report was created and shared internationally to cover up for and permanently shame and silence me.

I gather you were banking on my suicide in the first year, 2013, so that you could unchallenged destroy me in  death, it hasn't worked out, although I am living death, and I want justice before I die, and I hold you solely responsible for the whole matter. 
I want your resignation and I want police action against you. And I don't care that the church's vast interconflicted power and fear of the church has meant that the police and all other agencies and bodies have refused to act upon your harm to me so far, you have taken my life and left me living death, and you go and stand in church and try to preach about Jesus, when no risk assessment has been done on you for your callous severely destructive harm to me. You have shown such disregard for my life and wellbeing, despite all your incredibly hypocritical pretences, that, as I told the University of Winchester, no matter what their bias in favour of the church is, you pose a safeguarding risk to vulnerable students.

You also pose a risk to the vulnerable in any church-related organization, and children in schools, one of the reasons that offending by clergy is so prolific is that the church don't safeguard, and no organization dares to stand up to the church, and all of you abusive clergy can access the vulnerable easily through church-linked organizations, and that will continue until the church are regulated to prevent lawless interconfliction and clergy use of institutions for the vulnerable as unpaid brothels. What you have done to me is on a par with any clergyman abusing a vulnerable adult in those settings, no worse, most don't boast about their abuse in the press and media as you did while you abused me.

Your more recent safeguarding officer, Jackie Rowlands has exampled how nothing has changed in safeguarding since rogue safeguarding officer Jane Fisher, who destroyed me, left quietly without being subject to any embarassment for her conduct, think of that in the context of the way you destroyed me, Fisher broke the law with impunity to drive and hound me even after she had made me homeless, her actions would have driven most to suicide, just as yours would. You tried to ignore the complaint against her and allowed her to go on being harmfully involved against me in your destruction of me, until she quietly left, no defamation of her in the press as there was with me, nor too, was the real reason Bob Key left his position advertised, he was also lauded and upheld, not even held to account by the press and media who you destroyed me with.

Jackie Rowlands has tried to ignore my disclosure of abuse against you, tried to do as your staff and the national safeguarding team do to me and other victims, put the phone down and ignore emails. Safeguarding who? Well, the wrongdoers in the church, as ever. Jackie Rowlands in blocking me and upholding you, has, the same as the national safeguarding team, failed in her position, harmed a vulnerable adult and declared herself unfit to work with the vulnerable as she protects abusers.

On the subject, the police need to ask about your most recent police attack by the way. More questions about who set it up, and at what time, because your police attack was an act of harassment, based on dishonesty, you lied to the police, again, and on top of your police attack last year, leaving me homeless for the second time in a year, needs to be looked at very closely, the church do not have the right to be above the law or use the police for their own service, and you have lied to the police in order to entrap me to suit yourselves. You have used the police against me with impunity, adding to your destruction beyond anything a human being can cope with, and yet, they have so far, jumped at your orders and failed to investigate you or charge you with abuse. And they must now do so.

The damage that you and every complicit agency or authority have done in abuse, allowing abuse, branding me, and not stopping harm to me, is so severe and so compounded that there is no recovery, hope or future for me. Your dishonesty-based attempt to tell the police that I would self harm is absolutely ludicrous and hypocritical considering the callous way you have taken my life, left me living death and destroyed everything I built up.

Your safeguarding officer, Jackie Rowlings has been obliged to investigate and take action, and she hasn't done so. It is time for her to leave for a more suitable position that does not involve the lives and safety of the vulnerable, and it is time for you to stop hiding behind the other  criminal wrongdoers such as the Archbishop and the Bishop of Bath and Wells or your lawyers or PR firms or 'advisors', what you have done is wrong, criminally so, and it hasn't gone away and it won't go away, it is time for you to do the decent thing, make sure my side is heard, resign from ordained positions - the church are obliged to remove you but haven't - and make sure the police hear the full story of your abuse of me.

While I wait for justice and you to take responsibility, I suffer, and you know I suffer, and you know that you are responsible. And yet you have continued to officiate at services, and even show off in the press, with that silly posed picture of yourself. Narcissism and psychopathy are not pretty qualities and do not look good posed in the press.

Please don't keep me living death. Ultimately, as I have said to you, the best thing for me will be my death, because my soul is destroyed beyond healing, and if only the police had done their job and restrained you and your clergy and laity in 2013, I could still have lived, damaged forever, but I could have rebuilt, I know that because I went on trying, building, even as you destroyed me, but you kept on and on taking my life away, until it got too late.

You repeatedly made it impossible for me to continue therapy, I invested time, money and trust in that therapy, and to see it broken because of your agenda in destroying me and covering up for the church's wrongdoing was catastrophic.

Are you aware, as the police should be, that I intend to go to Dignitas because your three year abuse of me took my life beyond healing? And are you also aware that suicide is legal in the UK, as long as it isn't assisted? This being the case, why did you and Jackie and Jane and Graham act dishonestly over claiming I was harming myself? The police need to know times, who was involved, and why. Self-harm of any kind is not illegal, abuse is, and you have abused me. You destroyed me, now why didn't the police call on you to arrest you for assisted suicide when your attempt on my life 18 months ago should have killed me.

Now, the police must act. And bring this horror story to an end. The police have been told very clearly to stop harassing me for you, they have been told the consequences, and they have been told to deal with you. Your silence regarding your harm to me, and your persistent use of the police against me illegally and without question, is to be investigated. If you and the police continue to make me out to be nuts to excuse you, what about your psychopathy that took my life? Your turn to be beaten and imprisoned.

I sit here and suffer, and you really couldn't care less. Your silence says so, and yet you can attack me with the police in pretence of care. Enough is enough, and I have told the police so. The Church of England have harmed me since I was 19 years old, I had 17 years of the worst childhood possible, and then an adulthood of the church destroying me for their crimes. I don't want to live, I can't live, with what you have done to me, your blame and condemnation of me through whitewash reports and lies and press and media smears.

Do you really not comprehend what you have done, and do you really intend to continue officiating without bringing any justice to my case? You have had me publicly smeared, discredited and destroyed, for no apparent reason at all except to protect wrongdoers, and why was that necessary? I was already effectively destroyed, branded, silenced, and left homeless to die? The point of violently re-punishing me publicly escapes me, but it is abuse, it is a criminal offence. The fact that the national safeguarding team and Jackie Rowlands uphold you and have harmed me further and without mercy says that they uphold abuse, are a danger to the vulnerable and are without morals or conscience.

Make sure you answer me, and the police must contact you and start to deal with this now. Every day that goes by without justice and with me smeared and branded and a fugitive is a day that you are an abuser who hasn't been brought to justice, and a day that I scream in anguish and wait for living death to become death.

The whole 17 years of church of england harm to me, especially the million pound three year reign of hatred that you led against me, has yet to be investigated, and as you are the lead attacker and abuser, who gave every wrongdoer a voice against me in the press and media, how about you provide the same money and press and media for me to answer that attack for three years, and I will do to you and the people who you enabled to hate and smear me, what you have done to me, but what would be the difference? You all have homes, families, money, lawyers, stability and a foundation, I had nothing, you took my family, friends and community in your hatred, and I had nothing else, and what little I built, you took, you have taken my access to medical help, therapy, support of any kind. Living condemned utterly and without access to help, a fugitive, living dead, is no life.

Your victim,


JJ 

Saturday, 2 September 2017

Every day, waiting to die, because of what the church have done to me

Every day that I endure living after what the church have done, 
and wait for the next attack. 
This poem has a number of possible authors and is not my work:


The ship

The storm has been raging for so long now
Pouring rain, crashing thunder, howling wind
Beating down on this lonely ship
Searching for a place to call home
There was a time; it seems so long ago
The sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky
Looking up from the bow into forever
A gentle breeze, cotton candy clouds
But the storm slowly moved in
A few scattered showers and thunderstorms
Days of downpour, flashes of lightning
With shelter so hard to find
Rainbows still shone, beacons of hope
In the unlikeliest places
Vibrant against a backdrop of gray
A glimpse at the best of times
As the years passed by
The storms changed, getting worse
Getting better, and fading away
But they'd left their mark
A vessel is forever changed
When touched that way
And although you can rebuild
The damage has been done
Horrible storms had been forecast
For the not so distant future
But they wouldn't hit this ship
Not again, no more damage would be done
The ship will be protected now
Lost no more, tossed about no longer
Safe in a harbor to forever call home