Welcome to the Anything and Everything Jersey and Winchester abuse case blog.
Please scroll past these initial links to get to the main blog or the post you have come to read.
This is a statement from last summer:
Here is a link to the four great letters:
Here is a collection of Open Letters:
Here is my psychological report from last year:
This is my Daily Blog running from October 2011 until now:
These are other people's blogs on my case:
The blog itself is quite broken up, not written in an ordered fashion, a bit mixed up, like I am, talking about Jersey, the Diocese and my life.
Thank you for reading my blog, please persevere if it is at a bitty phase, go back and find what you are looking for in older posts, use the search button, or look at the favourite posts and links in the side bars.
The blog is heavy, I know, but the case is complex and the reality is that it has always been beyond me to get past the trauma and tell my story, so I am doing my best, in bits, to do so, as well as sharing related articles and links.
- I was abused in the Church of England as a vulnerable adult aged 19.
- I was abused by the husband of a vicar who was also my counsellor, this vicar took me home as a replacement for her stepdaughter who her husband, the girl's father, had abused and abandoned.
- I was further abused by another church officer.
- The church tried to close my complaints down, refused to deal with them and left both abusers and those who stood up for them in church positions.
- The church got me a criminal record for speaking up, they claimed I was harassing them.
- I had never been in police trouble before, but as a result, I lost my home and job, and was left on the streets, injured by the police and severely traumatized.
- Last year, years too late and the other side of me being destroyed, and while I was still homeless and destitute, the church launched on me in the National press, claiming to apologize.
- They also launched in the press, a 'report' into what had happened. This report was hideously inaccurate although it did show how members of church had abused process in not dealing with my complaint.
- The report, although not naming me, made it quite easy for me to be identified, I was one of very few autistic 33 year old women in the UK on the streets, and enough people who I met and was looked after by, knew who the report was about, and I lost friends and was shunned as a result.
- I also had strangers condemning and maligning me, it was heartbreaking.
- Then a church officer associated with my abuser, also in government, released my name and breached the data protection act.
- As a result of the Press reports and the report released, an all-out war broke out between the Diocese and Deanery involved, with me caught in the middle, I was slandered, I was smeared, I was condemned.
- The Church offered no help and I became ill as each new inaccurate report and cover up came out, each new damnation of me.
- New investigations were comissioned, and one was blatantly conflicted, to be carried out by a member of the group who supported the wrongdoers.
- I have been excluded from all reports, which, to save the church, are whitewashes which cover up the original admissions of wrongdoing.
- The church have treated me coldly, threatened me, despite them having me illegally traced by police, and have not helped me, instead they made illegal referrals of me to what they called help, without my consent and without checking it would help or what I wanted.
- I have pleaded with them to stop the harm to me, but to no avail, and I am living in fear, severely traumatized and knowing I cannot withstand the damning press reports and whitewashes forever.
Thursday, 28 April 2016
Well the road is wide
and the waters run on either side
and my shadow in the fading light
is stretching out towards the nigh
Last night I dreamed that there were people playing cricket up at St. Martins, and because Bob couldn't go and watch, I thought I had better watch for him, it was the least I could do.
I am not a great cricket fan, but all sport is good. When I was young, my version of cricket was daydreaming and then wondering why people were cross with me when the wooden bit accidentally got knocked off the other wooden things by the ball. I got hit by the ball a few times, which explains a lot.
But Bob was a real sillymidoff and LBW. He used to play cricket and then he just talked about cricket all the time, apart from when he wasn't talking about cricket.
Cos the sun is low
and I still have so far to go
and my lonely heart is beating so
tired of the wander
I was going to get a kitten and call it Bob, so I could shout 'Bob, get off the curtains!'
But Bob didn't tend to climb the curtains, Ann used to shout 'Bob get off the computer! (and peel the potatoes or we won't have a meal)'. Bob eventually did go to do the potatoes, but he put Parker on the webcam, and Parker was more interested in jumping out the window and investigating the mice under the shed.
I have decided not to get a kitten for the moment, because I didn't take the downstairs flat this time, but next time it comes up, I will and I will have a kitten called Bob. I hope it behaves itself and doesn't try to do too many good deeds. And no, it won't be a Manx kitten or a police cat. It may be rather stubborn and pig-headed though.
There's a sign ahead
Though I think it's the same one again
but I'm thinkin' about my only friend
so I'll find my way home
I have kept this narration lighthearted so far, but life has been very dark since Bob was taken ill. Some people ask why I care when I was so angry with him. Why? Well because although he went about it the wrong way and hurt me badly, he meant well and he was one person who really did care and did see the horror of the suffering that the Church inflicted. And I blame myself, because I couldn't get him to stop, and he collapsed with the stress just after going on BBC Jersey to defend me without my permission and I was angry with him. Bob couldn't defend me properly because he didn't know my story. And I am left carrying this alone and it is killing me.
Cos when I need to get home
you're my guiding light
you're my guiding light
when I need to get home,
you're my guiding light
Last year in the autumn, my friend was ill and it was found to be cancer, she was a great friend and we never had a cross word and she was a tremendous support to me. By the time the cancer was found, she didn't have long to live.
She went into hospital to have her lungs drained sometimes, she went downhill very fast.
In the autumn as The Church and press and media relaunched their attack, I was starting my first term at university, with the encouragement of my friend who was now dying.
My friend was due in hospital and then Bob collapsed with the stress of his continued involvement in my case. No one can kid me that that that isn't the case. You know it isn't just that a great man collapsed stubbornly doing his own version of a good deed, it is that he was the main carer for his wife who has MS, and he was working to help other people who had problems. It kills me.
Oh, where the air is cold
and yonder lies my sleeping soul
by the branches broke like bones
oh this weakened tree no longer holds
Bob collapsed, and the Jersey bloggers advertised it but didn't know what was going on, and no one contacted me. I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was that my life was as dark as midnight in hell with my new degree course trashed by the church and press and media and my best friend dying and then Bob's collapse. Life has never been light and easy and well, but it has been very dark indeed since last October. I don't know how I get up each day or how I get through each day.
oh well the night is still
and I have not yet lost my will
oh I will keep on moving till
till I find my way home
There was no-one for me to contact about Bob and no one to help me or tell me how he was, so I was alone with the responsibility of his collapse. I am just thankful he was in better hands than my dad when my dad collapsed with his first and second strokes only a few short years ago while the church was destroying me. My mum being schitzophrenic, left my dad collapsed both times and didn't call an ambulance, so my dad died. Bob's collapse was a horrible flashback of that but at least he was in good hands.
When I need to get home
youre my guiding light
you're my guiding light
when I need to get home
youre my guiding light
youre my guiding light
when I need need to get home you're my guiding light
I didn't know how Bob was and if he had died (and I still don't but presumably he is alive and has made a recovery of sorts).
But I kept a candle lit all the time to keep him off the ghost roads, a guiding light. Maybe a bit like the lighthouse in 'The Lovely Bones' only different, and I played this song 'Guiding light' because it echoed the tragic situation and my hope for Bob to be OK. Despite his sometimes misguided actions, Bob was a real man, who used his strength to protect the weak, a man with a clear conscience and a direct path to heaven, although the ghost roads are not nice, especially if you get trapped on them, halfway, like my Dad did.
So lead me on, lead me strong
Life's a road we walk on
and when I need to get home
you're my guiding light, you're my guiding light.
Anyway, I went to the hospital where my friend was, Bob was also there, and I had not expected to see Bob, wouldn't have asked to. But what happened was, I went to leave a card and a letter for him and his family.
The Samaritans said I should ask the nurses at the hospital if Bob's illness really was my fault. So I did, it turned out that Bob was in the bed by the nurse's station and they got me to sit with him.
Bob was breathing on his own, he was awake and lucid and could comprehend. And that helped. The nurse said not to worry about telling Bob I was sorry, because I cried when I tried to, and the nurse didn't want either of us upset. I hadn't thought Bob would be awake if the brain haemmorrage was severe as the bloggers said.
Bob couldn't speak, he had lost the ability to speak and he had lost some sight and movement, but he turned over and looked at me and he could nod and shake his head. I was amazed, I knew he had survived and although nothing could take away the seriousness of his condition, I had hope. I have known too many survivors of strokes and TIAs and I know how serious and lasting the effects are. I remember sitting with my dad after his first stroke and he was fully conscious and able to function, albeit lopsidedly, and he went on to live reasonably well for a while longer, so I had hope for Bob.
I asked Bob if he knew who I was, but he wasn't sure, I told him but I don't know if he understood.
I asked him if he remembered being on BBC Jersey, and he nodded.
I asked him if he knew where he was, but he wasn't sure so I told him where he was and what had happened and how long he had been in hospital.
He didn't know when his family would be at the hospital, and at first he wanted me to stay, but then either he was tired or he realised who I was, and he wanted me to go, so I did, I said 'God Bless you Bob' and that is the last thing I said to him.
I went into the chapel and didn't realise there was someone there so I was crossly berating God and there was a man sitting in the corner eating his lunch. It turned out that he was a Christian member of the hospital staff on his lunchbreak, and he prayed with me for Bob and family and for my dying friend and her family. I don't think he had ever heard someone having words with God like I did that day.
Sitting with Bob reminded me so much of sitting with my dad after Dad's life support was switched off and my brothers and sisters went to get drunk and left me there alone with Dad.
It reminded me of sitting with Ted when he nearly died as well, and Ted made a miracle recovery.
It is a good thing I wasn't alone after seeing Bob, I wrote this, do you remember it?
If I could turn back time, what would I do? How would I get Bob to take my story and not rewrite it and hurt me? I don't think I could, and maybe I knew that what happened would happen, because although he refused to back down and leave the case alone, he told me it was making him ill, he told me he couldn't write his book. But nothing I said could stop him.
And all I can do is live with this and with no one to turn to.
There aren't many people like Bob left in this world, people are getting more selfish and self-interested, so for someone like Bob to fall, the world becomes a worse place. He has great integrity and kindness and a need to help others, even if he insists on doing it HIS way, and he was usually very calm. I can't put right what has happened but I can't carry it any more, I won't survive if I try.
I am the speaker
she has no voice
I speak for her
I am the lantern-bearer
the guiding light
I am not the speaker
I stand beside him, waiting
to banish the shadows
from St. Clements bay
when the end comes
I stand in the shadows
and they never see my face
I am the wanderer
I am one alone
walking in darkness and pain
towards where I fell
on St. Clements Bay
looking for the light
The speaker fell
but I will trade my life and strength for his
he has no voice
give him mine
lantern bearer guide him
not me, I will go instead
This post is the only form of conclusion I can bring to the situation with Bob.
I hope that he doesn't worry or have nightmares and I hope that his family are alright.
There are those who fail
there are those who fall
there are those who will never win
then there are those who fight
for the things we believe
and these are men like you and me
In my dream we walked
you and I to the shore
leaving footprints by the sea
and when there was just one
set of prints in the sand
that was when you carried me
The lyrics in this post apart from my ones, are from 'Guiding Light' by Foy Vance and Ed Sheeran and 'Snows of New York' by Chris DeBurgh, I hope that they don't mind me borrowing them for Bob.
Tuesday, 26 April 2016
Friday, 22 April 2016
Wednesday, 6 April 2016
Monday, 4 April 2016
I know I am being egged on ever so slightly over this, but most readers will remember that awful dirge that my abuser's nephew wrote as a 'National Anthem' for Jersey, which was voted in by his fellow churchman, Sir Philip Bailhache, causing much dismay and consternation among genuine competitors.
Later I think it was Island Games competitors who said that they didn't want that awful dirge spoiling their sports - Bailhache could corruptly vote it in, but he couldn't make people accept it, it stank of Jersey Deanery arrogance. So Jersey's natural and eternal anthem, 'Beautiful Jersey' was played, just as it always has been on Liberation Day, the Day that Bailhache once used to degrade and rubbish abuse survivors through his speech.
Jersey is ruled by the chosen ones of the City of London, most notably the Bailhache Brothers, who use their exalted and conflicted positions to get away with anything they like, and no power on this planet can challenge them, the tax haven power is monsterous, but there are times when they do make fools of themselves in their belief that they can do as they please, and Gerard LeFeuvre's 'Island Home' and Bailhache's Liberation Day speech are two examples of that.
Anyway, Jersey is very much in the spotlight at the moment, at the same time that I am getting premonition of trouble awakening again in the fat and arrogant Jersey Deanery.
Jersey had an election a while back, but it may as well not have bothered, surveys and polls show that people do not like the Bailhache Brothers and the Council of Ministers, but in a similar system to the Catholic Church in Poland telling people who is to be elected and expecting them to be 'Good Catholics' and vote accordlingly, Jersey's Senators are chosen by the Finance Industry, the City of London, and the Church. I have a theory that the Church also choose the UK government as well, but that's another story.
Senator Gorst is not in any way a leader and he is not from Jersey, he was hand-picked by the City of London to be a nodding dog to the Bailhache Brothers and he doesn't appear to have a character or mind of his own, he is effeminate and he is a weed, he has harmed me personally by sock-puppeteering a whitewash report into my case, which broke the law, although as I have mentioned before, the law in Jersey doesn't apply at Senator level unless you fall out of favour, for example by speaking out against abuse.
Apparently a few years ago a certain vicar in Jersey had charges brought against him for interfering in election results, of course he went on to harm me and was duly promoted and honoured by Michael Scott-Joynt, who is now deservedly in hell.
It is amazing that all of this can go on and on, in full public view.
Oh what a rant, oh what accusations.
Anyway, Jersey has made the headlines in the last few days, as it does periodically, shock, horror, and nothing will be done, because of the City of London. The people in power in London and both Governments are in power because of the tax havens and they need them to remain, so no matter how angry the general public are, nothing will be done. Jersey dignitaries have ensured that Jersey and UK care inquiries have whitewashed out Jersey's part in child sex abuse and trade of children that was a perk of the job at one time, and these days apparently just to avoid more 'embarassment' those who still need such perks fly to faraway places at tax payers expense in order to fulfil their needs.
Recent fuss about flight costs by the general public will again lead to whitewash, although I have put in a request for the £1000 of tax payers money used by the Bailhache-Gorst clique on flights to try to force the release of their whitewash report into my case, to be investigated. One of the things that really needs looking into is the fact that they did this without my consent, when my court action against the Bishop means the report cannot be released unless I agree with it. So £1000 was wasted because of these men's arrogance and dishonesty.
I have no doubt that as well as the Camerons having money in Jersey, numerous other conflicted people do, and the Church of England and the Royal Family do too, this is why trying to get action taken against Jersey or trying to get abuse dealt with or justice brought is a waste of time. In short, Bishop Dakin's wages are paid by the people he stupidly publicly attacked when he also publicly attacked me in 2013, either he was extremely ill-informed or short sighted or he was lunatic enough to think he could get away with his public attack, and it beggars belief that he thought he could defame me or the Dean the way he did, internationally. It remains a jaw-dropping question-mark, but Luther-Pendragon have gagged him, so we will never know. And the Church refuse to engage with the matter, apologise, discipline anyone or carry out a balanced investigation which includes my side of things.
I think I have started to ramble a bit, so I will stop and get ready for my evening shift at work, and you will have to wait for the next exciting installment. The raw and unchallenged corruption of Jersey and the City of London is incredible, but nothing will ever be done.
Friday, 1 April 2016
I used to really fancy Columbo, I liked the theme at the end of the one with the minature battle field episode but I have no idea what it was called. Anyone know?
Update: I just found the ending with the Battle field, the episode was 'Grand Deceptions' and the music is still as awesome as I remember it and I haven't heard it since I was 12 years old.
Sunday, 20 March 2016
Thursday, 17 March 2016
Monday, 14 March 2016
If you put down the phone when I ask for justice and a voice, I will write and I will write my letters for the general public to view, as I have been doing for three years now.
This is an imperfect letter, written during my assignment time and wasting precious and valuable time. I am autistic, not insane.
This morning I woke up from another night of nightmares and flashbacks and woke as usual seeing no point in life because of the level to which you have branded me.
I phoned your office and as usual they put the phone down on me. I gather that they don't put the phone down on paedophiles and paedophile protectors who you have supported and kept in church positions in Jersey? No, of course they don't, in the same way that you excluded me from your whitewash reports about my case and allowed those peadophile protectors in Church positions in Jersey to openly attack and defame me and rewrite my story to vilify me. Although that started when I lived in Jersey with Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts aiding this very same behaviour. And because it continues exactly the same, it is obvious that there has been no improvement in safeguarding in the Church of England. The church in Jersey employs a paedophile protector as lay chair, and the Bishop desparately sings to the press about how safe that exclusive and unsafe deanery is.
As yet you haven't take my statement about the Lihous, Warrens and Honours and Montagues, you haven't looked at how they liased with the Dean and his wife to clear the two abusers and brand me, you haven't even looked at the incident where the Dean openly attacked me over this, and Jane Fisher followed that up by refusing to record it and instead supporting the Dean in lying about it, it remains incredible that the Korris rubbish was founded on Fisher's claims against the Dean, when there is evidence that she aided him in destroying me. And While I remain silenced on these serious misconducts and Godless and evil and deceitful actions, I suffer. So why did you claim that your public attack on me was about safeguarding?!
And what report tells about the impact on me of being regressed to childhood by my abuser and the impact on me of having to deal with the police punishment of me whilst still regressed, and the psychological and emotional impact of the abuse there on top of the severe emotional harm to me by the Lihous and Montagues previously, on top of my childhood as well?
No report even tells of the regression of me to childhood, while Jan Korris brown-nosed the police for Jane Fisher, her friend and colleague.
And also what report tells of paradoxes like Jane Fisher having me attacked by Tim Sledge (one example) claiming I had 'caused the Montagues trouble' while the Korris report makes vague references to things being forgiven and concluded, if she was talking about the Montagues, and if she wasn't, where is the investigation into that? And where is my side of things? How is Juliet Montague's actions in taking me home to a husband who destroyed his own daughter and proceeded to do the same to me 'me causing trouble?' And have you asked Mr Montague if the orgasms he got from abusing me were really trouble? And his temper towards me and others was me causing trouble, when I was extremely vulnerable and have been damaged for life by it?
When is there to be an investigation not only into what has happened to me, but also into the number of serious misconducts by church officials? There is something very wrong with destroying someone, leaving them homeless and going on destroying them relentlessly.
So how can any report also tell of the yacht club child incident to do with my other abuser and thus raise concerns that he is possibly a paedophile? Well, no report does, because despite your massive and ludicrous attack on me in the international press, my story is not told at all, only the diocese and police's story is told, and the diocese and police liased to destroy me, while my abuser remains, to this day, upheld and esteemed in the church, bidding for another churchwarden position with the support of his esteemed friends who wrote the Steel report and also taking visiting lone church women home, such is the contempt of the church for what happened to me, and he is unrepentant because you and jane Fisher have given him the assurance that I was the bad person, not him, that I am worse than a paedophile.
And certainly that is the vein in which the church has run since I reported the abuse. You had me recorded in the JEP in 2010 as a criminal while my abuser and his friend the Dean triumphed, and when you launched the attack on me three years ago, everyone looked the article up and told me about it!
You illegally liased with Stuart Gull, Jersey Police's version of Paul Butler, press stuntman and cover up expert, you used Gull to further defame me and allow Steel and Johnstone illegal access to my inaccurate police records.
Gull told the public that the churchwarden had no case to answer, after I reacted in extreme distress to being contacted by the police and told them to go to hell, well if you consider that you were hitting me on all sides, violating me through Julie Wallman, lying about me in the press, illegally referring me to the NSPCC, how did you think I would react to your exercise in clearing the abuser?!
Also, when are you going to investigate that as well as the only police action against me being perpetrated by the unforgiving church who would rather destroy an abuse victim and protect her abusers than anything, the police action was unbalanced with the police refusing to stop Fisher and the Scott-Joynts from provoking me, and refusing to protect me and making my distress out to be madness, every time they locked me in and left me damaged for life, they didn't bail me so that I could produce evidence of my side of things.
For example, communication between me and the diocese was TWO WAY, and JANE FISHER was provoking me, she also claimed that she and the Bishop, having slandered me all round winchester and shattered my long term friendships and relationships there, leaving me alienated, intended to help to house me.
Horrifying, they didn't have my consent, they violated my access to any help with their defamation and illegal liasons with authorities and along with the police brutality and detentions left me long-term homeless and on the run. Have you even recorded the deception by Jane Fisher and Juli Wills that enabled Fisher to distort things to the court of law later on?
Do you recall that I was imprisoned and thus unable to provide evidence to defend myself against the lies by Fisher and Scott-Joynt? Do you understand that I suffer psychological hell day and night as a result, left voiceless and destroyed for these people who would not stop harassing me.
Can you imagine the psychological damage of that and then you coming after me and violating me all over again?
You know that next time you try to have me battered and locked up, ( which my life is on hold waiting for, and it is like being in a Nazi concentration camp), they can't really go on battering me and locking me up without my evidence being heard, and these letters are part of my evidence.
If there is a God, I won't die without being heard, and although you killed Bob Hill by leaving him to fight you for me to be heard when he was too old and should have been retired, I want to be heard before I die, and every minute that you leave me voiceless and horrifically psychologically injured and living in fear, you are showing that you don't believe in God, you are in it for the free house and the money, to be honest I don't know why you Bishops even pretend any more.
I wish Bob had had the sense to hear me and not base his argument on ther Korris rubbish, because the Korris rubbish is the opinion of one silly, shallow church woman who didn't seem to understand that what she was doing was a multiple criminal offence, and you haven't had her battered and locked up for it.
The re-use of the Korris report by press and the Jersey bloggers has scarred me for life, there isn't any way of recovering from people publishing lies like that as if it was fact.
As you will know from the articles sent to you, Philip Bailhache, the Chair of the Jersey synod, has aided paedophiles in escaping justice and continuing to abuse, and has no remorse or conscience regarding this matter and instead thinks he can publicly attack me, while you stand by and let him.
So tell me again how your public attack on me and aiding these people in vilifying me is to do with safeguarding?
For three years I have suffered being constantly vilified and living in fear and my health has suffered, my health is still suffering. You have treated me with utter contempt throughout these three years and your pretences of care for my welfare while implying to the general public that the Dean is innocent and that the Steel report would harm me, was utterly disgusting. You failed to tell the general public that Steel was conflicted and you also failed to include me in any report, or annul the Steel report when you were shown with evidence that Steel was conflicted.
You also failed to apologize for your illegal harassment of me and perversion of the course of justice by releasing the Korris report not only to the general public but also to the police.
You basically had a report by a member of your church labelled as independent and excluded me from it and released it to the police and mislead them, although they had worked closely with Fisher and the Scott-Joynts to destroy me while ignoring my request to be protected from the illegal interferences of these persons.
You claimed to a court of law that Korris had tried to contact me, and that was a lie, there would have been evidence of that, and why exactly would you illegally authorise a member of the church to violate my privacy by contacting me after you branded me for life for contacting the church and fighting to be heard and to be freed from the grip of Fisher and Scott-Joynt's illegal violations of me after (and before) they illegally liased with police and services who illegally worked with them in response, to brand me and interfere in my life?
What is the end result of all this rape-violation of me? Well for me it is that every day and every night I suffer flashbacks to the rape-violations and being de-humanized and left voiceless to these illegal actions by people with their own agendas, it has damaged my soul in a way that no therapy and no amount of time will ever heal.
But if Korris had tried to contact me and failed, why exactly did you release that unbalanced report to the public and why did you not wait until AFTER you had had me violated and sickened and left in collapse by your abuse of power in illegally having me traced by the police that you had previously used to destroy me and brand me in a way that makes every day of the rest of my life worthless and anguished. Why didn't you use your attacking police to tell me you wanted to do this report and get my views? You blatant and wicked liar!
And why did you then, having had me traced, ignore me and my concerns and proceed with the conflicted Steel report and allow the Jersey Deanery and their friend, colleague and supporter Dame Heather Steel to publicly destroy me while you were too busy lying to the press to ensure that I was protected from this harm and that my side of things was heard too?
Was it good safeguarding? You claimed that this was all about safeguarding!
So, you and Jane Fisher made the foundation of the Korris rubbish to be about me being insane, the excuse that Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts and their police has cooked up to cover my distress and excuse themselves, and then you allowed me to be publicly attacked, even by people who didn't know me, such as Gavin Ashenden, Philip Bailhache, Teri Bond, you allowed me to be attacked not only in the Jersey press and media but internationally, and you also dragged in my estranged family, estranged from me as a result of the Church's destroyal of me.
And you had me publicly crucified, having tried to brand me as mentally ill. Let me ask you, is the Church really so draconian that they think mental illness is a punishable crime?
Or was that just pure evil on your part, to allow someone you have labelled mentally ill to be attacked in that way, because if so, it looks very strongly as if you were trying to force me to commit suicide. Do you think someone who is mentally ill can withstand what I have withstood? Do you think they should have to? Have you ever heard of the term 'safeguarding'?
And do you have any notion at all of what autism or trauma are, and what being publicly violated and branded and left outcast and cut off from help as a result of your actions has done and is doing to me?
As yet you have failed to annul the Korris report, why? You intended to release the Steel report and have apparently faced more than just MY legal action each time you have prepared to release it, but the leaks of the Steel report collectively suggest that it contradicts the Korris report. And that, combined with my formal request for anullment of the Korris report as a whitewash and an untruth to protect church and police, should have led to a public annulment and an apology before each preparation of release of the Steel whitewash.
Also, seeing as you attacked the Dean publicly before clearing him, you owe him an apology. I know very well that he isn't innocent, indeed you allowed him to gather his circle of lawyers and judges to defame and vilify me and make him out to be innocent. You are responsible because you publicly attacked him and me.
You cleared the Dean without investigation, having allowed Philip Bailhache and others to illegally access and use to their advantage, my inaccurate police records caused by the police and church destroying me for reporting my well-connected church officer abuser, you have never made any public condemnation of the people involved in that blatantly illegal activity, they are treated as Royalty in the Church while you have not only had me excluded from Church, you have slandered me worldwide and through all denominations internationally.
It was horrifying to see that organizations such as Huffington Post, Thinking Anglicans and even Premier Christian Radio took up the attack on me and spread the lies that Luther Pendragon wrote for you.
Horrifying, the damage to me is for life, and what has happened to my abuser and his dignitary friends? Treated like Royalty in Church and laughing as they did when you had me dragged from my home, deported, left homeless and still violated unremittingly despite being homeless and in shock.
Why? Do the Church of England really think this is safeguarding?!
Presumably yes, CofE safeguarding involves protecting dignitaries who behave corruptly and alienating abuse survivors and the vulnerable.
Have you reprimanded anyone at all for harming me over this matter? Well how could you when you don't know or care about my story and have done such wrong yourself? If you have millions to waste on publicly destroying me, please also find a million to investigate what has happened to me.
I am still waiting for you to arrange an independent investigation and annul the million pound Steel Whitewash.
I am waiting for you to apologize and I am waiting for you to state that I am safe in my home and community and that I do not need to live in fear of the press and police who you bought and influence with your status and money and the misguided 'Church' label that a few people still think means good and right.
If this matter was about safeguarding, why did you publicly destroy someone voiceless, weak, homeless and already so horrifically damaged that withstanding the public attack was something that they just couldn't survive?
Why would you launch such a case into the press when a homeless and vulnerable adult's life and welfare was already at risk and would then be even more so? Do you really believe you are justified in what you have done to me because of what you have heard from the defendants and their police? No matter how much time goes by, this remains a raw and blatant injustice.
While you keep up the orders of Luther-Pendragon to stay silent, you leave me suffering.
I have asked you for copies of the Steel report, from the original to the latest amendment, now please provide them. You told a court of law that you would, they concern me as they were written about my case with no input from me and you refused to stop the report when you were made aware with evidence that it was conflicted.
You left me waiting to be destroyed. Why would you do that to someone who you labelled as mentally ill to cover up the trauma and emotional distress suffered at the hands of your diocese and your clergy and your rogue abusive safeguarding director?
Would any of you respond well to having your name blackened wherever you went and your privacy violated constantly and unremittingly and illegally but with nowhere to turn to for redress because you are labelled as insane by the church for your distress?
I understand that the Safeguarding officer in question has moved to another position, along with the previous head of safeguarding, and one of several church members and clergy and officers who contact me about your church says that the strategy of Paul butler was to move males into the safeguarding positions in the Church because of the national child abuse inquiry, because males are better liars. Is that the case? I doubt that you need to worry about the UK child abuse inquiry as I have been told that the same dignitaries in Jersey who destroyed me have been allowed to intervene in the UK inquiry to keep Jersey looking clean so it is a whitewash after your own heart.
In any case, you are liable for Fisher's prolonged harm to me in order to cover up for the Church.
What happens to the voiceless vulnerable? Those who can't write when you leave them voiceless and vilified and defamed and branded and broken, what happens to them when you defame them internationally and leave them living as fugitives and put the phone down on them whilst allowing their aggressors meeting time and phone time and a voice and an opinion, especially in the press?
How many deaths occur as a result of the Church of England's desire to look good and pretend to safeguard?
How many of those deaths does Paul Butler use as press stunts? One recently, with the fake press claim that things are better in the CofE.
And how are you going to use my death, if you don't bring a conclusion to this sustained damage to me? Huge press stunts and lies about my mental health with the help of your police?
Can you really not see a problem with spending a million pounds and more on reports and investigations which are prejudiced and unbalanced and put a vulnerable person's welfare and life at risk, and you try to justify it through the vilification of that vulnerable by the defendants, when you hand the reports over to the defendants? No wonder Luther-Pendragon advise you to stay silent and put the phone down on the vulnerable adult who you are cruelly and unjustly leaving suffering!
The fact that you need to hide behind a Godless firm like Luther-Pendragon, who's role is to mislead and protect you, shows that you are very dishonest and that you have no right to call or consider your position to be anything whatsoever to do with Jesus or God, and in that vein, you are invalid and are taking a lot of money and a free home when your role is null and void. You are one of the things your church have tried to vilify me with because my vulnerability allowed me to keep being taken over by church people, you are a sponger who is living off what you are not entitled to because your actions against me invalidate you.
I understand that you will fail to have the courtesy to respond to this, I am used to that, you respond only to Luther-Pendragon and the powerful Jersey clique of lawyer-clergy-laity-judiciary-freemasons, nothing new there, but you can't go on calling yourself a Bishop if you won't conclude or take responsibility for your mess. Mark Hedley worked very hard to protect you and threaten me, but again, that only shows what the Church of England is and how much the government or outside agencies need to intervene and independently audit the Church and expose the corruption and deceit and blatant abuses of power with church police, judges, lawyers and other agencies which is what the core of the Church of England is about.
My Clergy Discipline complaint remains, and it remains valid, it needs to be dealt with by an outside agency who can see, where Mark Hedley fails to, that your attack on me and your deceit and dishonesty and the damage you have done are not only not appropriate, but also illegal. And the reason that Hedley can't see that is because no wealthy middle class church dignitary does understand poverty and vulnerability, they just judge the poor.
Jesus lived among the poor and had nothing, the Church of England lord it over the poor and destroy them and justify themselves by their status.
On a final note, and this letter will add to the many now available, for which you show no shame and have no answer, but, I remind you every year that if you intend to crucify me this Good Friday, make sure I have the donkey to ride up to the Cathedral on and spoil your pomp and show. You missed the boat the other year when I was 33 and had spent three years travelling homeless due to your Church and jeered by your pharisees.
I am sure you weren't a disappointment to Scott-Joynt, he wanted a bigot like himself who made a show about Africa, but you aren't a Bishop and you do need to step down, what you have done would lead to instant dismissal and legal action in a normal company, but the Church still get away with behaving as they like at the moment, until someone intervenes and changes the law of the land to include the Church and it's members as punishable for crime and protection of criminals.
Your statement to the world is that abuse is an approved practice in the Church and will be upheld and protected and you are happy to horrifically destroy anyone who reports it and you have a free reign and leave from the police and local authorities to do so.
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