Welcome to the Anything and Everything Jersey and Winchester abuse case blog.

Please scroll past these initial links to get to the main blog or the post you have come to read.

An introduction is available here:

This is me:

This is a statement from last summer:

Here is a link to the four great letters:

Here is my psychological report from last year:

This is my Daily Blog running from October 2011 until now:

These are other people's blogs on my case:



The blog itself is quite broken up, not written in an ordered fashion, a bit mixed up, like I am, talking about Jersey, the Diocese and my life.

Thank you for reading my blog, please persevere if it is at a bitty phase, go back and find what you are looking for in older posts, use the search button, or look at the favourite posts and links in the side bars.

The blog is heavy, I know, but the case is complex and the reality is that it has always been beyond me to get past the trauma and tell my story, so I am doing my best, in bits, to do so, as well as sharing related articles and links.


  • I was abused in the Church of England as a vulnerable adult aged 19.
  • I was abused by the husband of a vicar who was also my counsellor, this vicar took me home as a replacement for her stepdaughter who her husband, the girl's father, had abused and abandoned.
  • I was further abused by another church officer.
  • The church tried to close my complaints down, refused to deal with them and left both abusers and those who stood up for them in church positions.
  • The church got me a criminal record for speaking up, they claimed I was harassing them.
  • I had never been in police trouble before, but as a result, I lost my home and job, and was left on the streets, injured by the police and severely traumatized.

  • Last year, years too late and the other side of me being destroyed, and while I was still homeless and destitute, the church launched on me in the National press, claiming to apologize.
  • They also launched in the press, a 'report' into what had happened. This report was hideously inaccurate although it did show how members of church had abused process in not dealing with my complaint.
  • The report, although not naming me, made it quite easy for me to be identified, I was one of very few autistic 33 year old women in the UK on the streets, and enough people who I met and was looked after by, knew who the report was about, and I lost friends and was shunned as a result.
  • I also had strangers condemning and maligning me, it was heartbreaking.
  • Then a church officer associated with my abuser, also in government, released my name and breached the data protection act.

  • As a result of the Press reports and the report released, an all-out war broke out between the Diocese and Deanery involved, with me caught in the middle, I was slandered, I was smeared, I was condemned.
  • The Church offered no help and I became ill as each new inaccurate report and cover up came out, each new damnation of me.
  • New investigations were comissioned, and one was blatantly conflicted, to be carried out by a member of the group who supported the wrongdoers.
  • I have been excluded from all reports, which, to save the church, are whitewashes which cover up the original admissions of wrongdoing.
  • The church have treated me coldly, threatened me, despite them having me illegally traced by police, and have not helped me, instead they made illegal referrals of me to what they called help, without my consent and without checking it would help or what I wanted.
  • I have pleaded with them to stop the harm to me, but to no avail, and I am living in fear, severely traumatized and knowing I cannot withstand the damning press reports and whitewashes forever.

Saturday, 28 February 2015

The usual flannel in the Church Times

Butler 0 - Macsas 1, and usually both as crap as each other, at least Macsas, who screwed me over, are making a fakey self-interested token effort, Butler had zero credibility.
More on that when I am not so tired.

Friday, 27 February 2015

Late nigh visitor from Southampton.
Go away, Visitor hours for the bloody diocese finished several hours ago :(withteeth.

Earthquakes from the Jersey Inquiry

It is so tempting to say there was no earthquake in Jersey the other evening, that was just Senator Bailhache throwing a rather loud tantrum.

The Jersey Care Inquiry has hit potential funding problems, and Senator Philip Bailhache has decided to try to exploit that by trying to get the Inquiry closed down as a result.
Senator Bailhache has always been opposed to abuse survivors and proper inquiries into abuse, and that showed in his 2008 LIberation Day speech, where he said that the Island's reputation was more important than the abuse victims.
That is a terrible attitude, but it is also typical of him.
Privately educated at a top school, and never wanting for anything, Senator Bailhache has no empathy for abuse survivors and no understanding of them. This is quite typical of the majority of the Church of England laity and clergy, and he is or was a Church warden.
Paradoxical when you think of Jesus' teaching and examples.

Basically, Philip Bailhache does not like to be probed, oops, excuse my error, he does not like wrongdoing in Jersey to be probed.

It is paradoxical again how Philip Bailhache has been strongly against the Jersey inquiry but so keen on the Steel report being published, but the difference is, he abused his power in the Jersey's Dean case because he had a personal interest, ie, he is part of the church-politician-judiciary clique who support the Dean. So he claims to want the abuse report published there, and yet he voted against the Jersey care inquiry, and undermined and insulted the victims and is now 'calling on members of the public' to support him in quashing the inquiry, with costs as an excuse.
The common denominator in my case and the Jersey care case is that he has insulted and undermined me and the survivors of Jersey care abuse.
Why? Well he doesn't understand abuse, or victims of abuse, or their feelings or reactions to abuse, and he doesn't care, and he doesn't want to care, his main worry is what has not yet been uncovered about abuse and abuse of power in cover-ups, in my case and in the Jersey care case, and he is concerned for Jersey's reputation as he is like a feudal lord in Jersey, and he is apparently concerned for the part he and other powerful people he is close to and mutually supporting, in wrongdoing and cover-up.

I heartily applaud Deputy Montfort Tadier for once again having the courage and integrity to speak up in his letter to the media:

Dear All,

I am very concerned by these latest attempts, clearly led by Senator Bailhache, to close down the committee of inquiry. He was never a supporter of it, in fact, he consistently used his influence to try not to have one at all. This does not surprise me.

However, what does surprise me is that we were told by the Chief Minister that the Committee of Inquiry must be allowed to do its job - and that States Members should stand back and let them do this.

Senator Bailhache is trying to fan the flames of populism by asking a question that seems to invite an obvious answer: should we spend £50m on an inquiry to make lawyers rich?

I would ask the 2 questions: should we let the Committee continue its work and bring those perpetrators of some of the most heinous crimes against children to task, including holding former Attorney Generals, politicians and staff to account - as per the agreed terms of reference?

Should we say to the UK - Jersey has run out of money. We would now like your Committee of Inquiry to extent to Jersey and we will give you free access to come over to do that?

Kind regards,

Deputy Montfort Tadier

And Here are Bob Hill and Voice for Children's Blogs on the subject:

What Senator Bailhache is hoping, in 'urging the public to back him' over the inquiry costs is, the majority of non-native workers in the finance industry do not care about Jersey or islanders, and there are many Jersey people who have been dutifully trained to bury and repress, and there are those Jersey people like Bailhache who are too well off to understand or care about the abuse and it's impact.
What he doesn't realise is, each time he abuses his power this way, a growing number of people notice, and write about it.

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Jersey had an earthquake last night

and Winchester had one recently.

Anyone else think God is also tired of the dirty war between Jersey and Winchester?

Or was the Jersey one not an earthquake?

Was it foot stamping because the Dean has been sent on holiday?

Or was it his private helicopter trying to land?

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Accidentally discovered the Deanery of Jersey's anthem while I was out...

And the Dean hasn't responded to my move back to Jersey tomorrow...

For some reason everyone is landing on my blog searching for Ashenden. Sorry, he isn't here, I fumigated. What exactly has he been spouting or whimpering in the JEP now? Is he back from salmon fishing in Yemen and adding the Yemen flag to my blog stats?

ITV's Blight

Is it just me or did Channel Television deliberately distort the words of the Chair of the Jersey Care Leavers Association.
They claim that she says that the inquiry is a blight, rather than saying the abuse is a blight.
Yeeks, 50 shades of Bailhache! And I know she is not like that.
Welcome to the blog, NSPCC, please scroll past the Archbishop twaddle and look at the letters to Bishop Dakin and Jane Fisher

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

The Archbishop's Career

The Archbishop is still spouting propaganda and lies in the paper, and it distresses me, 
I am still living under a death sentence,
why haven't my complaints been dealt with?
Why am I not free from the diocese of winchester and why is welby still being allowed to make a fool of himself?
Wasn't destroying me and leaving me homeless, destitute and shattered enough? Why did the church have to forcibly make me relive their side of things while I was left voiceless? And why am I still under a death sentence and not allowed to live? 
There is no organization, not even the Mafia, more evil than the Church who pretend to be Christians as they kill and destroy, who have the power to whine about caring for the vulnerable while destroying them and catering only for the wealthy.

Justin Welby's attentions seeking career:

  • Sets the scene by claiming not to believe in God - Time for him to resign if this was a Christian church, but he is there as a banker, a capitalist, to live off the wealth of the church and try to further it. 
  • He becomes Archbishop Wonga as he does his first real 'foot-in-mouth-because-he didn't research' - Time for him to resign again. He weakly flails and whines in response, claiming he will do Wonga out of business. Yes, so he is a banker, a capitalist, why is he running the church of England?
  • He and Paul Butler decide to curry public favour and kick Chichester victims in the face.
  • He and Paul Butler decide to curry favour and destroy me all over again with whitewashes in the news while I am homeless, voiceless and subject to a smear campaign that includes hatred and judgement from church people who have never met me.
  • The Archbishop continues to whitter and spout for two years while allowing me to be destroyed.
  • The Archbishop and Paul Butler run a full-on duplicity and currying attention and favour at the expense of victims spree, in the national press, while leaving me to be destroyed
  • December 2014. Justin Welby publicly defames his Father, in a whining attention-currying national press article. Any true Christian would be disgusted and ask this man to resign, but sadly most of the wealthy old ladies that make up the main body of the church of england would be too baffled 'What is the Archbishop talking about?' and pass over the article, while sheeple probably sent him lots of sympathetic letter, but the world overlooked the fact that he was breaking one of the Ten Commandments.
  • 2015. The Archbishop's duplicity campaign in full swing, he sets up a lot of publicity making a Bishop out to be a victim at Downing Street, Attacking the government, along with his fellow Archbishop, and with a second wave of their 'Vote Labout Sheeple! We don't want to be internally investigated!' Campaign.
  • The Archbishop shows off in the press, pretending to care about the vulnerable, no mention of me or Theresa Cooper. And the old ladies who make up the body of the church of England scratch their heads and go 'That young Archbishop! What does vulnerable mean?' While the sheeple fall and worship the church of England.
  • The Archbishop does another 'didn't bother to research, foot in mouth' over 'The living wage', because he is a banker and a labour politician who likes click words.
  • Then the Sun expose him as a hypocrite.
  • Then the Archbishop's script writer gets him to whine to pre-empt 'allegations of hypocrisy' which is the trademark pre-emptive dupliciousness of Butler, Welby and their fellow privately educated men. So the Archbishop's script writer is good, but the 'allegations of hypocrisy' are not allegations, they are true and correct statements that the Archbishop is a hypocrite. He cannot go on running a national club for the elderly and wealthy, that has an apartheide against the vulnerable, and still pretend to care about them, it makes him a hypocrite, he has left me suffering and yet he has time to show off in the paper, he is a hypocrite, he pays his staff badly and he publicly condemns others, he attacks tax dodgers and he is a millionaire tax-dodger running a millionaire tax dodging corporation himself. An organization claiming to be Christian and behaving constantly badly, heniously, exclusively, making the vulnerable unwelcome and to blame through apartheide 'safeguarding' policies and unwelcoming old wealthy people. So, whoever the script writer is for Wellby, they should be congratulated, but the more he shouts in the press without putting his brain in gear, the more of a fool he is making of himself and the church he was due to resign from when he denied God.
Would someone get the Archbishop to be quiet, resign or start making his church into something that actually gives him any right to criticize others?

The Archbishop claims to be 'declaring war on tax dodgers', apart from that meaning he is declaring war on himself, doesn't that mean he is declaring war on Philip Bailhache and Jersey who he went belly-up to, when Philip Bailhache turned up on his doorstep with illegally obtained material and a one sided concoction to clear the Dean? 
The Archbishop responded by clearing the Dean and allowing me to be publicly destroyed.
So, who is he declaring war on?  He is reminiscent of a puffed-up cockerel crowing loudly at a fox that is outside the hen-coop. It's all noise and bravado and it is making him look like an aimless attention seeking idiot.

The open letter to the Archbishop has just been amended: 

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Chatting to the Bishop of Winchester


Bishop Dakin,

Where is my copy of the Steel report?
You omitted sending me a copy of the Korris report before or after publishing it, which was unprofessional of you.
Where are my copies of the Steel and Gladwin reports?
There isn't much excuse for not sending them, especially as you have arranged illegal access to my records for these reports,
and are aware that the Korris report has caused much offence and distress by it's release without ensuring it is checked by those who it is about.
And seeing as you are having the Steel report 'looked at by legal and safeguarding people' how about letting it be looked at by the person you are destroying with it?
That's fair isn't it?


So the Bishop tells the Jersey Deanery that he has legal and safeguarding experts looking into their engineered whitewash, 
but as yet, after 7 years, there has been no investigation into what happened to me in Jersey and my complaints.
Maybe the Bishop can call a halt to wasting time and money on the engineered report, which he knows very well is conflicted and omits me, because the longer he keeps this charade up, the more foolish he looks, and instead do a report into my complaints and what happened to me.
An independent report, that includes me.
And I still have not been sent a copy of the Steel report, so please ensure that I am.

And with regards the Church's vote labour campaign, I won't be voting labour due to the Church of England's party political broadcast, neither will anyone who can think for themself.


Bishop Dakin,

Just regarding these 'safeguarding experts and legal experts who are checking the whitewash Steel report.
Are you aware that you are breaking the law by sharing the defamatory material with them, as you are basically defaming me to them?
They don't have my side as my side is not in the Steel report.

Also, can you explain to the general public why you only email me or try to make me only email you through an email address that reads ', as if it is your chaplain emailing me, presumably this is for legal reasons as your chaplain is a barrister and can get himself legally let off if you cause me upset?
Does the Dean and Deanery have to email or be emailed through your chaplain's address?


Dear Bishop Dakin,

Please ensure that I have the contact details of these 'legal and safeguarding experts' who are supposedly looking at the Steel report.
After all, don't they need my side of things too?

And I am sure you don't just mean Batty-Broadbent and Jane Fisher and her close friend and protector. Elizabeth Hall, Fisher and Hall are obviously both conflicted and not very good at safeguarding anyone anyway, so make sure I know who to contact, as soon as possible, regarding the Steel report, which you need to send to me for amendment, as you forgot to do so with the Korris report before releasing it as if it were fact.

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

The Church of England Party start their election camapign...

They want a coalition with the Labour Party!

And Miracles never cease, the Daily Mail were licking the Church's boots until very recently.

And Here the Church of England describe themselves! Take that log out of your own eye, WelbyDammned!

In an open letter they called for a ‘new direction’ in politics to replace a society they said is self-interested, fragmented, and badly led by politicians. 

Welby noiseboxes aimlessly around. But there is a recruitment drive to send people to Mars, and of course they will need an Archbishop up there...


Bishop Dakin,

Where is my copy of the Steel report?
You omitted sending me a copy of the Korris report before or after publishing it, which was unprofessional of you.
Where are my copies of the Steel and Gladwin reports?
There isn't much excuse for not sending them, especially as you have arranged illegal access to my records for these reports,
and are aware that the Korris report has caused much offence and distress by it's release without ensuring it is checked by those who it is about.
And seeing as you are having the Steel report 'looked at by legal and safeguarding people' how about letting it be looked at by the person you are destroying with it?
That's fair isn't it?

Isn't it time the Bailhache Brothers also commented?

Back to Jersey...

Rally the troops, lets prepare for my three month 'holiday' in Jersey.

Now as the Pharisees won't let us meet openly in the St. Paul's centre, we may have to meet in people's houses.
Or rather have public open meetings :)

Jane Fisher would be so horrified, she would forget to juice the carrots to die her hair with,

Lets talk about what really happened in the church in Jersey.
Then there is no need for the Bailhachenden report to be released, because the public can hear from me what happened, which they won't from the whitewash report.

Every time and in every way...Denial

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Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Church Politics

The church have produced another document, a 50 page 'Vote Labour' documents, even the very conservative news reporter had trouble keeping a straight face.

What is it that the Church do not understand about Christianity? Jesus did not influence voters, and people who had been awaiting the Long expected Messiah felt let down by that. It was the Pharisees who did the Politics and considered themselves God's servants.

I say again, the Church of England are the modern day Pharisees.

And just to correct my error of earlier on the Dean of Jersey  letter, I forgot until I was reminded earlier, the Dean's wife is the real Dean of Jersey, as I was told by a clergyman in Jersey in 2010. Maybe I should have addressed that letter to her.

Monday, 16 February 2015

Open Letter to The Very Reverend Bob Key, the Dean of Jersey

Dear Very Reverend Key,

I am writing in response to your press release yesterday, demanding the release of the Steel report.

I know I am autistic and think simply, but has it ever occurred to you that the Bishop of Winchester is outside of the BBC Jersey broadcasting area and doesn't listen to BBC Jersey or watch it, and so he won't actually pick up on your radio message and respond to you? I wonder if you have considered contacting him directly to discuss safeguarding and reports?

His secretary's phone number is 01962 854050. I think unless you actually contact the Bishop, you kind of look a bit foolish demanding a report on a local radio station that is not heard by your intended recipients of your message. Your own Bishop, Bishop Willmott is also outside of the BBC Jersey broadcasting area, so you may also want to contact him about the situation. I will forward this letter to him for you.

You mention in your BBC press release that Dame Steel is a 'respected Jersey judge', respected by whom, may I ask? She failed a fair appeal in the Curtis Warren Trial and isn’t actually either known or respected for much else. Do you think she should be respected for writing an unbalanced report that omitted me and my views but gave you 8 hours of interview and interviewed witnesses who had never met me? For example Gavin Ashenden, who has repeatedly slandered me on BBC Jersey, and who claimed to Bob Hill that 'your case was watertight'?

Why is 'your case watertight' when you have done wrong and I haven’t at any point had a hearing or a voice, either in court or in these messed up safeguarding reports and investigations? Gavin Ashenden is a former lawyer, who has never met me, please can you explain why he was interviewed and passed on some of the defamation of me that you also used against me in Jersey, a one-sided view of my past, that does not tell my story? Can you explain how that is relevant to the report or how you or Gavin Ashenden, or the rest of your circle can behave like this and at the same time claim to represent Christ? Please refer back to my open letter to the Jersey Deanery, posted in November 2013, and at the same time, consider what happens to the vulnerable who are completely voiceless and cannot write as I do:

Open Letter to the Jersey Deanery in 2013, read by thousands internationally, and my first answer to a very horrible and Unchristian smear campaign against me by the Jersey Deanery: 

On the subject of Gavin Ashenden, his bad behaviour in Normandy is adding to my stress as members of  the Normandy Diocese have contacted me a couple of times over his behaviour, they describe him as very arrogant and trying to take over things there, assuming a position that he has not yet been given, now, I think it is your job to discipline him, he is one of your clergy and not in any way connected to me except that he has behaved extremely badly and in a severely unchristian manner to me, but I am further told that he has always had a bad attitude and makes a bad parish priest, and I am also aware of his stunts regarding trying to ‘drive demons’ out of mentally ill people, very much a safeguarding issue as described.

The Korris report showed some but not all of your own misconduct, and you supposedly 'apologized' but not to me, neither you, nor your deanery, nor the diocese of Winchester ever made me aware of this ‘apology’ nor passed it on. You refused to co-operate with the Korris report and instructed your clergy not to co-operate with it. So why are you so keen on the release of the Steel report, after the Korris report defamed you? (It defamed me too, and it's release was inexcusable).

Well the difference between the Korris report and the Steel report is that the Korris report was not independent but not conflicted in your favour as the Steel report is, the Korris report was carried out by a lay counsellor in the UK, who, although not qualified to carry out such a report, was not actually on anyone's side, she was simply commisioned to write a report, and the Jersey Deanery were unaware of this until Korris approached them, with a report which which she couldn't carry out efficiently because she only had the notes and opinions of people who needed to cover up for themselves to base her report upon, for example Jane Fisher, who heavily influenced the report as her notes were relied on.
 The Steel report was an expected follow on from the Korris report but with the Jersey Deanery and connected establishment figures such as Bailhache who slandered me in an ‘Open letter’ and Steel, his colleague in the judiciary, Steel ‘offering’ to do the report, was a hijack of what the Bishop of Winchester still appeared to think was a genuine safeguarding investigation.
Steel is a Jersey establishment judge, closely allied with your supporters in the conflicted circle of church members who are also in government and States positions, such as Philip Bailhache, Michael Birt, Bridget Shaw, Ian LeMarquand, and numerous others.

The circle named above were involved in the Steel report and in maligning me, for example Philip Bailhache was allowed to abuse his dual roles in the States and Church and his legal expertise, not to mention his connection with the churchwarden who abused me, to malign me openly in the press and through and open letter, and along with Ashenden and other church-judiciary-states-lawyer crossovers, allowed to make me out to be mentally ill and thus not credible, please refer again to my open letter to the Jersey Deanery.

I understand from your press release that you want this matter concluded, well so do I, I have suffered a solid two years of being defamed and maligned as a result of the actions of your Deanery and supporters, and the release of the Steel report would  not be an appropriate  conclusion at all for me, it would simply compound the injustice, leave me ruined again, and possibly homeless or dead. Please now read this independent blog on the subject that a Jersey blogger released today in response to your press release yesterday, this describes the situation very well:

There is evidence not only that Steel is and was conflicted, but also that she was derogatory about me, having never met me, in much the same way as Gavin Ashenden was. A subject that I will discuss further.  This is neither Christian behaviour nor appropriate behaviour for either a priest or a judge, and it lessens anyone’s respect for them.

Bob Hill has evidence both that Dame Steel is conflicted in her connection to your supporters, and he is also a first-hand witness of her being derogatory about me, having never met me. And while you have managed in the past, to make my trauma and distress into madness, you would not be able to do the same regarding Bob Hill, who is a former police officer and Jersey deputy. I will set out below a number of links to Bob's Statements about Dame Heather Steel being conflicted, maybe if you are as yet ignorant of the harm to me of a conflicted report that omits my side of things, you would like to read these and reconsider your desperate calls for this report to be published:

I hope that, having read Bob Hill's blogs, you will understand that the release of such a report is nothing whatsoever to do with safeguarding, and that in calling for such a report to be released, and indeed, having influenced and played a part in compiling such a report, you are causing serious harm and distress to a vulnerable adult who you have already harmed immeasurably by your previous wrong and inappropriate actions and behaviours in Jersey.

You will see from Bob’s blogs that there is a conflict of interests that that means any report by Dame Heather Steel is not actually viable. As you will see in Bob Hill’s Blog about the Laity Advert, the Jersey Deanery Laity Named Dame Heather Steel as representing THEIR COMPLAINT against the Bishop of Winchester, and they used a large advert in the JEP. How could Dame Steel actually fairly represent both sides in a conflict? Basically she couldn’t, and she was put forward to lead the ‘investigation’ as a colleague of your circle of supporters in judiciary and the States, despite her conflict, and the Bishop of Winchester allowed her to proceed with this investigation despite her conflict and despite the fact that he was told that she was conflicted.

So, I have a feeling she is only a ‘respected judge’ in the eyes of those who have behaved as badly as her, or who have acted in an equally biased and unchristian and judgemental way as her, thus shafting Jersey to the rest of the world.

I feel that you as a Dean, now aware of the facts from this letter, need to call for an inquiry that includes me and my side, rather than maligning me. I am sure that a man of your Status and Standing with God, would see this as a good, fair, and just thing to do. Although I understand that you have been asked to go away on Sabbatical for three months so it is a bit short notice.
The Steel report does not represent what happened to me in Jersey, which is probably why it has not been released. But what I suggest is, if it is released. The best thing I can do is come to Jersey to live again, and hold a series of public meetings, telling my story and showing evidence, for example emails. And gradually, that way, two sides will be heard, especially as all journalists and bloggers will be invited to take notes.

While I was in Jersey, Jane Fisher used to try and silence me by accusing me of making threats when I said I would take the Deanery’s misconduct further, which made her a bully rather than making me someone who was making threats, as I was simply stating what I would do. As I am now.  Since the story of what happened to me in Jersey broke into the news, I have had numerous offers from Jersey people of a home and a living in Jersey, and if I continue to be troubled by your wish for the Steel report to be released, or the release of that defamatory whitewash itself, I will indeed come to live in Jersey and tell my story until everyone, whether they believe me or not, knows what I have had to suffer.

I travel light, people are on hand to take me in, I am not in work as I have been rendered unfit for work by this matter so I am ready to come over, shall we say February 26th? And I will start booking for my first talk, you are welcome to join me at the talks to give a counterpoint. I do have an incredible incredible amount of evidence waiting for an inquiry that would actually include me, so basically, it would be an ideal time for me to come to Jersey to share my story.  I have seen and am aware that Leah Goodman was banned from Jersey by the same group of people who support you, because she wanted to look into the child abuse and resulting cover-ups in Jersey,  and so I know the same ‘Jersey Way’ may well try to ban me again, and it will make headline news. But in the meantime my case is packed and I am looking forward to sailing on St. Aubin’s bay again.

I hear that you are going to America for your sabbatical, well it is a diverse and interesting continent no matter which part you are going to, so you won’t be bored.  There you can relax and reflect on the difference you have made to Jersey and to the division between rich and poor, able and disabled. I wish you well with your sabbatical.

I think the best way you can put the Steel report and the ugly and unchristian war between the Jersey Deanery and Diocese of Winchester to bed is to say in your mind that it is over, and move on, as I have had to do with the life I was forced to leave behind in Jersey and the injustice that took it from me, the psychological wounds to me remain and will do forever, but as a mature adult who accepts good advice, I have simply moved on from the injustice of the Jersey matter and gone on with my life, yes, the damage and injustice remain, but I do not dwell on it, I just live day to day, and when the matter comes up in the press, it causes flashbacks and distress that disrupt my life. So, in the same vein, maybe you should stop ‘picking at the scabs and making them bleed again’ – (a metaphorical advice once given to me by a Dean who defended my abuser, but this is a different situation, he was trying to make me drop a legitimate complaint of abuse).

The Steel report is not relevant to what happened and does not, cannot give a fair view, judging by Steel’s attitude and behaviour and the fact that she was allowed to continue when conflicted and did not include me in her report but tried without my consent, to access my records, which also did not include my view, and which she had no right to, and in the case of the police records, this was a blatantly illegal action.  Steel also tried to say to Bob Hill that there is nothing wrong with me and I am just a troublemaker. An interesting statement from someone who has never met me, and it also goes against your deanery and Gavin Ashenden discrediting me as mentally ill in the press and in the Church Times, as well as the diagnosis and psychological assessments that have been done.  As well as the fact that Steel is not qualified to assess or diagnose my conditions, it shows how unsuitable she was to carry out a report, as she, just as you and your colleagues who compiled the Steel report do not understand vulnerability or abuse, she doesn’t understand these things either.

So I think that rather than making a plea for the release of this report, through media that doesn’t even reach the Bishop of Winchester, in light of your understanding that the Steel report is conflicted and an unchristian act of judgement and defamation and cover up, you the Dean, need to call for a fair and open report, or you need to have the grace to let go, forgive the Diocese (hard as I know that is!) and go on with your life, look forward to your great holiday, your great adventure, your time with God, and at the same time, have the grace to stop inflicting needless harm on me, set yourself right before God before it is too late, because what you will face in death is pretty horrible if you don’t repent these terrible behaviours. I think it is worse for clergy who deliberately behave badly, when they finally face God, because clergy have chosen to be ordained, and thus should be acting for Christ, and when they neither act for Christ nor act with integrity, I should think God’s anger will be quite hot.

You harmed me enough in Jersey by trying to use my past to defame me and make me out to be wicked without hearing my side of things, and understandably, if your understanding of the effects of abuse and neglect on a person’s behaviour are that low, then Jersey’s Deanery does indeed have a safeguarding problem. Both judging me without my side and without wanting my side, and favouring my abusers, was wrong. And as you may see from the National Press, this vilification of victims who have been repeatedly abused, by officials who favour their powerful or well-connected abusers, is widespread. It is just a shame that the Church of England do not behave better than the UK government on matters like this, but in theory, the Church of England is part of the UK government, just as you are part of the Jersey government, where things obviously aren’t quite right when the Care Home situation there has gone on for years and been covered up and minimized, most notably by your colleague, Sir Philip Bailhache, who stood up for you at my expense, he gave a speech in 2008, that I was there to hear, at Liberation Day, and both you and my abuser were in attendance.

 Philip Bailhache stated that the damage to Jersey’s reputation was more important than the abuse victims.
Now isn’t it funny that Philip Bailhache has pushed for the release of the Steel report as well? Usually he wants things buried, if you get what I mean.

Back to your wrongdoing.  I am sure if you repent that, God will forgive you and you will be able to stop worrying about two years of dirty unchristian fighting and defaming me and bad unchristian behaviour. Put it to bed, let sleeping dogs lie, and all the other metaphors I learned from Bob Hill’s blog. The best way to put the dirty war to bed is to ask God for forgiveness and peace. I am telling you that as someone who knows from experience that it is the best way.

I have been left homeless, branded, destroyed, ill, injured, abused, destitute, without the support of friends and family that I had previous to you having me imprisoned,  but I am not bearing a grudge, I am trying to live, and I hope that you have the grace and Christianity to do the same. You need to count your blessings, you have a home, you have family,  you have cars, you have servants, you have a good wage, and you are about to have a lovely three months holiday. I don’t really think you should be worrying about the Steel report, unless it is playing on your conscience, which I would gather is why you are getting upset about it and wanting closure.  Pray for release from your angered thoughts, and pray that you can forgive and forget, that is what Jesus wants from you. You won’t get closure from the Steel report, because it’s release will not end anything but will start another very long series of actions.

You state in your press release that the ‘report will only be in the media a short while and then we can all move on’. That is a very puzzling and incongruent thing to say. You don’t speak for me because the defamation I have already suffered will last me a lifetime, I won’t survive much more, a short time of being defamed does not suddenly lead to closure, no, the damage done by the last lot will last me a lifetime. I am sure now that you have read this letter, you will be able to see two sides and fulfil your Christian duty in instigating an independent investigation or letting sleeping dogs lie.
Have a great holiday, and maybe we could meet up for a coffee in Jersey when you get back?

A Blogger's response to the Dean's BBC Jersey Press Release

This blog came out today in response to the Dean's press release yesterday:

Thursday, 12 February 2015

Anything and Everything

Good evening,

Sometimes I just feel like writing about anything and everything. It's an Ould habit.

Church joke (They must be joking):
Let's start with The CofE's latest desperate ploy to get people into church - using comedy. It is tempting to make a cheap shot and say that the Church of England are a joke as it is, but that would be shallow, I will instead a-muse on the situation :)

Firstly, I wish the church well in their comedy, but, they already have a tradition, in my experience, of inappropriate anecdotes and poor taste jokes during sermons, and they have been doing this throughout the time I have known them, and I don't think it changes a thing, but it does detract from what the sermon and service should be focussed on.
God isn't a joke. Yes, a service can be lighthearted, humerous, but the Church are so desparate, that they are in danger of undermining the purpose of the church service, and they already undermine it with Vicars and curates waffling on in anecdotes about their own lives that they think are funny and the congregation dutifully laughs, I have heard so many rubbish jokes, especially from George Lihou and Mike Taylor, jokes copied from a book, incongruent, badly told, not funny and making the service worthless. Where does the Church of England get money to employ comedians to teach their Priests to make services comical, when they are not paying compensation to the abuse victims that Justin Welby 'Weeps over'.

Jeff Southern, Jersey Politics (Maybe the Church can learn comedy from Jersey Politics).

Who is he? A Mezecite, I think, and Mezec is praising the Establishment in his latest blog, apparently the States members are all sudden loyal and dedicated people, doing their best for Jersey, Mezec is obviously running for Senator soon, because he has changed his tune.
I had a dream the other night that someone told me to speak to Jeff Southern, or is it Geoff Southern, about the Church matter, the person in the dream was so adamant, but dammit, no one has a solution to the massive corruption and abuse of power that is behind the actions of Jersey States, Judiciary and Police members who have destroyed me. No-one, and there will never be justice. Southern is only a deputy, what can he do? Apart from spout hot air like Higgins does at regular intervals.

Adoptive parents:

As you know, if you read my blogs, I am an adoptive daughter, and my adoptive mum proudly told that to everyone I introduced her to on Monday :) I love my Muvver.

As you know, I have been widely maligned for being naïve enough to let people, the Montagues, Lihous and Avertys, take over my life and call themselves 'family' to me, and each time they have taken me over, tried to magically cure me, got a lot of defensive anger for me and vilified and branded me for it, all three couples in collaboration with the political-judiciary circle from Jersey.

The Church of England keep mumbling a numb, dumb press release about how 'vulnerable adults sometimes get taken in and boundaries are crossed'. This is in line with their apartheid on poor and single vulnerable adults, maybe they should come into the real world, where a mixed up church contains a lot of bored old people and few vulnerable people, and the old people try to 'cure' the vulnerable, forcefully, Godding them and their problems to the point of abuse, and being disappointed and blaming the vulnerable person for responding with anger and distress.

You cannot cure a childhood of abuse by taking over the vulnerable adult, trying cackhandedly to act as a parent to them and putting them in a childhood position, not being prepared for the response as you make them a child again, cure for trauma does not come sweet and quiet, it comes through rage and grief. And these idiots, the Montagues, Lihous and Avertys, set the situations up, themselves, and felt proud of themselves, as they destroyed me and widely vilified me for my response, especially as there was sexual abuse in the case of the Montagues and Avertys, and dangerously irresponsible actions in all cases.

I know I have described this before in the post about my adoptive parents now, but it is incredible how different the situation has been with my adoptive Mum and her husband, who have been my friends since early 2011.
The adoptive parents didn't take over my life, in fact their boundaries and emotional competence in my case have been outstanding. They didn't do as the Church of England do, they didn't bulldoze, take over and expect miracles and vilify me for my reaction.
They became my friends, they did not take me over, and they proved trustworthy when the Diocese tried to take them from me by slander.

 The Church of England's well off congregations really do not understand the poor and vulnerable and so they are an embarrassment.
The only way anyone can help me is if they are trustworthy, and do not spread my confidences round the community and leave me belittled and abuse me. My now adoptive parents are trustworthy, and the people who took me over in the Church of England were not.

So when will the Church of England, who can't see past the ends of their noses, stop being a comedy act and actually look at the faults that their Church is riddled with and stop stoning me? They need to start by selling everything they own so that they can start to understand the poor and follow Christ's teachings.

The Death of a Homeless Hero:

Anne Naysmith. This inspirational and much loved lady demonstrated how long term homelessness can be caused, and how it can be addictive, and sustainable.
It was hard for me to learn to live indoors after over three years homeless. And even now, I sometimes think it would be easier to simply sleep rough.


Saturday, 7 February 2015

The Archbishop's usual...

Attention seeking in the press.

THe Archbishop claims to be 'doing war on the tax dodgers'.

Ahh, he can start with his own church, a wealthy and powerful corporation, which uniquely claims to be a charity, whilst also being a government department, while sitting on billions of pounds of wealth that Tony Baldry gets to play with!

And isn't the Archbishop also contradicting himself as usual by claming to declare war on the businesses who he also tries to curry favour from to keep his defunct 'Church' Going?

With his constant contradictions, of himself, his church and the Bible, will he not be remembered as 'Archbishop Contradiction'?
As well as 'Archbishop Wonga' of course!

'Let them eat cake
the Bishops cried

Thinking they'd get
the plebs on their side

The plebs took one look
at the wealthy old club

and thirsted after righteousness
down the pub

Archbishop Wonga knew hye had failed
so he put his head in his hands and wailed

Tuesday, 3 February 2015

You know what gets me...

It's not that so many Clergy are in the news for paedophilia, because the reason they are is because it is such a scandal when a clergyman is among thousands of people charged yearly, but it is the fact that these clergymen wear their dog collars and robes and lead services and preach, when they have done these things. And in the end, their parishioners are left in shock and with their faith possibly damaged.
But hopefully no-one adds insult to injury as Juliet and others did in the Malcolm Eastlake case by calling me unforgiving for my shock and my need to talk things through!

Here it is, with his diocese trying to act with dignity:

Sunday, 1 February 2015

Friday, 30 January 2015

An open letter to Luther-Pendragon

Dear Luther-Pendragon,

This is an open letter to you as well as a call for the Bishop of Winchester to resign.

For the past two years you have aided the Bishop of Winchester, Bishop Tim Dakin in Destroying me.
Why? Well because he employed you to protect himself, thus completely and utterly missing the point of Christianity.
He employed you to protect him at my expense.

I have spent two years being smeared in the press by the Jersey Deanery and Bishop of Winchester and you have actively aided this attack on me, I am vulnerable and destroyed and yet you continue to harm me for the Bishop and on his behalf.

When is it going to stop? Because while it goes on, you are responsible for the harm to my health.  Jointly responsible with the Deanery of Jersey and Diocese of Winchester, who's war you have only made worse by misleading and annoying people.

You are also responsible for taking the money of a Church who claim to be 'A Christian Presence in every Community'  While they are too busy spending money on cover-ups to care about the poor and vulnerable, let alone use that money to help them.
The Church are thus invalidating themselves.
Jesus didn't need a PR firm to negotiate for Him, He faced his enemies boldly and directly, but the Bishop has lost sight of Jesus as he continues to make me suffer, and thus it is time for him to go.

I should not be voiceless as defamatory reports are released, nor should I be under threat of defamatory reports. You are aiding the Diocese of Winchester in destroying me over and over again, every time I try to pick my shattered life up, they start again, and it cannot go on and on indefinitely. It is not acceptable and it is heniously wrong and criminal.
It is time you got the Bishop to close this matter, to stop making me live under threat of whitewash reports to save his skin. It is time you all grew a conscience and put an end to my suffering by getting the man to announce that his whitewashes are not going to be released and that he is making a timely exit and the matter, despite being unresolved and unjust, is over.

If you continue to harm me on behalf of the Bishop of Winchester, you will be responsible for any harm that I come to, be that death or breakdown, homelessness, murder by people who have threatened to come after me because of this matter, or any other harm.
The collective damage to me by the Church of England from when I was aged 19 to now is absolutely horrendous, after growing up in hell, the Diocese of Winchester have robbed me of my adulthood and are robbing me of my life, and no amount of money paid to you by the Bishop and no amount of expertise on your part in covering up for the Bishop and releasing misleading, harmful, defaming or incorrect reports will change the damage done.

If you are not capable of ceasing to harm me on behalf of the Diocese, then eventually you will have to answer to a court of law for it, and no matter how pathetic that sounds, it is surprising what one voiceless autistic person can do, if you doubt that the Voiceless can ever rise up and conquer, look at what Stephen Hawkin achieved, and look at the fact that the Diocese have wasted a million pounds so far  on settling nothing, and a lot of that million has gone on YOUR FEES.

It really is time for the church to stop showing themselves up by publicly flogging me and using you to aid them in it. I am one broken and permenantly damaged person, who will find life an unhappy struggle for the rest of her life, the church should be ashamed of themselves, and so should you. There is nothing Christian and has been nothing Christian in the two groups of wealthy old men either side of the English Channel squabbling like little children, being blatantly dishonest and savaging me while they are doing so.
It is time for this charade to end. Stop supporting Bishop Dakin in destroying me, he has done wrong and he can throw million after million down the drain and crucify me publicly without changing the injustice into anything but injustice, and without having rectified the fact that his reports and your press releases are nothing to do with what actually happened in Jersey, especially as they override my side of things and leave me voiceless and exclude my views.
The Bishop may be good for your bank balance, but you and he are doing blatant and criminal harm.
You are responsible for the way I am being defamed, misrepresented and depicted as 'metally ill' and the rest of it. You are responsible for stopping your client, the Bishop of Winchester from behaving in this criminal way.

All the money in the world won't change the fact that Korris and Gladwin are not independent and did not include my views, nor were my views added, and Steel is a conflicted member of the tight circle of judiciary-church-freemason-government clique in Jersey and was nominated by her colleagues there to prevent a genuine investigation and vilify me to protect the Dean and church there. Nor will it change the illegal actions of the Bishop and Jane Fisher, nor will it change the fact that all intrusions and actions against me are without my consent and the Bishop cannot claim to be safeguarding me or anyone because he excluded me from the whole investigation and allowed conflicted wrongdoers to take over and protect themselves and each other.

I am appealing for you to stop your part in support the Diocese of Winchester in their seven-year run of heniously criminal and dishonest behaviour. And although I feel that by nature you are there to act dishonestly for huge amounts of money, it doesn't change the fact that you are supposedly human and should have consciences and compassion, a slim chance but I will write anyway, and I will publish this letter and it will remain circulated no matter what happens to me, and I will present it to a court of law if it comes to that.

Now that you are aware of my extreme concerns about the criminal harm that you, Luther-Pendragon, are aiding and abetting, you have an obligation and a duty of care to stop the harm and to stop aiding the Bishop in harming me. Stop making damaging and inaccurate press releases and stop aiding the Bishop in threatening me with serious and criminal harm through the Steel report. The Steel report is an act of criminal defamation, it is not a safeguarding report, it is done by a colleague and supporter of wrongdoers in Jersey and is deliberately done to defame me and exonorate wrongdoers, I have not been sent a copy to amend or add my views because basically the Bishop simply intends to destroy me with it to get him off the hook for his seriously devious and criminal behaviour towards me and the Jersey Deanery.
He can find another solution to his wrongdoing, for example, taking responsibility for himself, I don't believe he has thought of that, has he? So his resignation rather than his murder of me through defamation, would be a much more honest and Christian approach, and it would set an example to a very devious, abusive and dishonest church, who abuse the public through lies and propaganda in the press with impunity, and you are failing the church anyway in your see-through dishonesty and theirs through you.

I believe you are responsible for that ludicrous 'Lost, last and least' press release last year, which is an eternal headstone to Dakin as a Bishop, showing just how arrogant, patronizing and condescending the church can be, as well as how misleading, as the Bishop proudly claimed to have provided support to me, when in reality he had illegally referred me to the NSPCC, tried to force this referral on me, and had effectively trashed the therapy and support that I was already receiving.

It's up to you, Luther, I can imagine you responding to this with a nasty dirty attack on me in the press for the Bishop, but it is a fight to the death now, I am going to fight for my life now, I am not threatening anyone with death, the term 'death' in this case means the Diocese closing the matter, the death of a two year long charade by the inexperienced and arrogant Bishop of Winchester or my death at the hands of you and the heniously criminally behaved Bishop of Winchester if you choose to continue upholding him in destroying me.

Again, please stop the silly press releases and agreements that harm me to save other people's skin, it may be what you do for a living, but no-one has the right to put a life at stake as you are doing, nor to force my death as you will do if it doesn't stop.



Bob Hill's latest blog on the Winchester and Jersey fiasco