Welcome to the Anything and Everything Jersey and Winchester abuse case blog.
Please scroll past these initial links to get to the main blog or the post you have come to read.
This is a statement from last summer:
Here is a link to the four great letters:
Here is a collection of Open Letters:
Here is my psychological report from last year:
This is my Daily Blog running from October 2011 until now:
These are other people's blogs on my case:
The blog itself is quite broken up, not written in an ordered fashion, a bit mixed up, like I am, talking about Jersey, the Diocese and my life.
Thank you for reading my blog, please persevere if it is at a bitty phase, go back and find what you are looking for in older posts, use the search button, or look at the favourite posts and links in the side bars.
The blog is heavy, I know, but the case is complex and the reality is that it has always been beyond me to get past the trauma and tell my story, so I am doing my best, in bits, to do so, as well as sharing related articles and links.
- I was abused in the Church of England as a vulnerable adult aged 19.
- I was abused by the husband of a vicar who was also my counsellor, this vicar took me home as a replacement for her stepdaughter who her husband, the girl's father, had abused and abandoned.
- I was further abused by another church officer.
- The church tried to close my complaints down, refused to deal with them and left both abusers and those who stood up for them in church positions.
- The church got me a criminal record for speaking up, they claimed I was harassing them.
- I had never been in police trouble before, but as a result, I lost my home and job, and was left on the streets, injured by the police and severely traumatized.
- Last year, years too late and the other side of me being destroyed, and while I was still homeless and destitute, the church launched on me in the National press, claiming to apologize.
- They also launched in the press, a 'report' into what had happened. This report was hideously inaccurate although it did show how members of church had abused process in not dealing with my complaint.
- The report, although not naming me, made it quite easy for me to be identified, I was one of very few autistic 33 year old women in the UK on the streets, and enough people who I met and was looked after by, knew who the report was about, and I lost friends and was shunned as a result.
- I also had strangers condemning and maligning me, it was heartbreaking.
- Then a church officer associated with my abuser, also in government, released my name and breached the data protection act.
- As a result of the Press reports and the report released, an all-out war broke out between the Diocese and Deanery involved, with me caught in the middle, I was slandered, I was smeared, I was condemned.
- The Church offered no help and I became ill as each new inaccurate report and cover up came out, each new damnation of me.
- New investigations were comissioned, and one was blatantly conflicted, to be carried out by a member of the group who supported the wrongdoers.
- I have been excluded from all reports, which, to save the church, are whitewashes which cover up the original admissions of wrongdoing.
- The church have treated me coldly, threatened me, despite them having me illegally traced by police, and have not helped me, instead they made illegal referrals of me to what they called help, without my consent and without checking it would help or what I wanted.
- I have pleaded with them to stop the harm to me, but to no avail, and I am living in fear, severely traumatized and knowing I cannot withstand the damning press reports and whitewashes forever.
Wednesday, 29 July 2015
sojp abuse victim bashing scheme
Dear Mr mcGee,
I believe you emailed me, I am not sure if you are even a real officer.
Your email was titled 'States of Jersey Police investigation' or similar.
As usual the police have completely ignored or overriden the fact that I have said not to contact me and that, if you are referring to *****, there is no inquiry.
You will be welcome to contact me about anything as soon as Dame Steel is withdrawn from harming me and as soon as it is published just what records of mine she and Philip Bailhache and others have been able to access illegally and despite me forbidding such access in Steels case. Especially as my records with your force are proven inaccurate and I have been brutalized by your officers repeatedly.
Until then, don't contact me, and remember, you know and I know that there isn't a just or fair judge in Jersey and that a reopening of the ***** case, as I presume that is what you are making contact about, would simply be an exercise in clearing him through a judicial system that offers no justice nor impartiality. There is no reason to drag me into this, and your force destroyed me for ***** and his friends, so your contact with me is traumatic and absolutely unnecessary.
I am allowed, if you try to force me to give evidence in your exercise in clearing an old boy, to produce a letter which says I am not fit to give evidence, which is the truth, I am deeply traumatized and this whole charade by dame steel and aggressive destroyal of me by the diocese of Winchester on top of what they have done previously, means that I am in a very distressed state and not fit to be dragged into court again as witness or as a scapegoat as I was previously.
Basically, why bring me into this at all? you can clear ***** for Bailhache and the rest without me being contacted or involved.
I never opened your email, I fished it out of spam, put it in the police complaint file and used the hover to get your email address.
The way the diocese have launched aggressively back into my life and used the police to harm me again is terrible, for me, the damage is done and some of it will never heal, but I have moved on and you and the diocese are dragging me back into this, even though Jane Fisher, who destroyed me used whine on and on and on about things being in the past to try to shut me up.
Sunday, 26 July 2015
2. What sea creatures have you seen in rock pools or the sea? Did you keep any for a while in a bucket or jar?
3. Have you visited an aquarium? What fish did you see there?
4. What's the oddest fish you have ever seen?
5. Have you seen jellyfish? Where?
6. What kinds of boats do you like to sail in?
7. Do you get seasick?
8. Do you swim underwater?
9. What is the longest you have ever swum?
10. Do you like low tide or high tide best?
And apparently he is causing offence to non-brainwashed people again:
And someone video'd worship in the Jersey cult churches one day:
Gavin Ashenden's finest preaching:
Friday, 24 July 2015
What strikes me here is Paul Butler isn't frothing emptily about sorrow, grief and all the other emotions that fat old men in palaces are not capable of feeling.
By the way, did you spot what Diocese this was in? :)
Monday, 20 July 2015
Good evening, this interview has arrived in response to my new car arriving:
1. When did you learn to ride a bicycle? What make if you remember?I was 7 years old when I learned to ride a bike, my brothers and sisters even those younger than me, had already learned but I struggled to learn, an early sign of my learning and motor problems that went unnoticed.
2. When did you learn to drive a car?
3. Where was it that you learnt to drive?
I can't print that on here.
4. Did you have a lot of lessons?
yes, as explained above.
5. What was your first car?
A Peuguot 205, it was a great car and I loved it, the fuel pump went after a year and it wasn't cost effective to repair it.
6. What is your favourite car?
7. Would you like a Herbie car (Walt Disney Volkswagen)?
8. What's the biggest car you have ever driven?
9. What's your favourite speed (if a straight road) - 30 mph, 40 mph, 50 mph (if allowed) or higher?
In the past I loved fast driving, and motorways, but I have grown up now, and as you (the interviewer) are probably aware, I live in a country area where there is not a lot of fast driving and I am very content with 30 or 40 now I am back on the road.
10. Do you give your cars a name (like Herbie!)
Thank you for interviewing me.
Wednesday, 15 July 2015
Where do the Diocese send finished Clergy?
and why do we avoid Chichester?
Nutters on mobility scooters knocking pedestrians of pavements and looking for their lost dog collars!
A shiver ran round the General Synod, looking for a spine to run down!
Thursday, 9 July 2015
Now he speaks out and speaks good.
Tuesday, 7 July 2015
And let me whisper this...OBVIOUSLY THE CHURCH HAVEN'T EITHER!
If I wasn't supposed to let that slip, please excuse me.
This blog shows how the police still treat abuse and rape survivors in Jersey, all these years after they destroyed me:
Horrifying memories of how the police let my abuser walk free to tell the whole church community that he had been cleared, and captured and beat and criminalized me while backing the abuser up.
Yes, this story isn't in any whitewash church report.
Friday, 26 June 2015
This limerick was blatantly pinched, stolen and nicked from the rightful author, as you can see, I am not bright enough to write something like this, as Peter Ould will confirm. Has Ould been canonised yet? Usually the Church of England promote and canonize any clergy who behave badly.
Yes, I had to learn all the ruddy Latin names at college. Verbena bonariensis (my favourite), Fraxinus excelsior, Fraxinus badcanonus, (bahaha), Juniperus horizontalis, etc etc.
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
Despite being far from home on holiday, I have more interview questions to answer:
1. Sea or Pool? I know you like swimming, but which do you prefer? The open sea at a beach or an indoor pool? Why?
2. Travel – where is the furthest place you have ever travelled to (outside the UK) Have you ever visited Ireland, Scotland, Wales? Where did you go? What was it like?
The furthest place I have travelled is New Zealand, but back then I was unprepared and was with someone who was scornful of my disability and resulting anxiety, so I was under too much stress to fully enjoy it, but it was an interesting experience.
3. Town or Country – which do you prefer? Why?
Country, definitely, the peace and quiet and farms, I trained in agriculture and worked on farms, although due to my health, I can't work on farms now. I love open landscapes, hills and cottage gardens with bird song in the early morning. I do also enjoy towns, I like art and architecture, so towns are a good source of those, I also love museums and local history, call me boring but I find it all fascinating.
4. Birdsong – can you identify any birds a) by sight b) by song? Which ones.
Yes, I know a number of birds by sight or song, my adoptive parents are bird fanatics and I am learning from them. I know the birds of prey, and some common garden birds. I know a few bird songs, mainly robin and blackbird, of course, the blackbird has such a lovely song during the season.
5. Summer is coming. Do you like ice cream? Do you have a favourite ice cream?
Yes, I like ice cream, I tend to get my ice cream from a little place run by locals on the seafront, they are nice and they know me, the other place I go for ice cream with my friend in the car is on the viewpoint above the town, there is an ice cream van owned by a local company and they do really good ices, not horrible liquidy stuff, real solid tasty stuff, we sit up there and enjoy the view and eat our ices. And my favourite flavour is rum and raisin. I like solid ice cream, not whipped stuff.
6. Web Addicted – can you survive without the internet? Or do you feel withdrawal symptoms (I do!). What parts of the internet do you use – web browsing, Facebook, Twitter? What do you tend to look at online?
I am not severely web addicted, I find it a relief not to be online sometimes. I do find the internet very helpful though.In fact the internet is fairly essential for me as I strive to run an efficient business and also prepare for exams and do prep courses for my university degree, things like that. I do a lot of interactive learning online and also communicate with people who are studying languages and interested in the international community. I don't bother with facebook much, I am too autistic for that kind of thing, but twitter is great for human rights activism and news. I also blog, as you know. Life is so full, and the internet is just part of that, I guess I need it for my life but I also like to be doing other things such as music, sport and work.
7. Egg – do you like eggs? What egg dishes can you cook? Which do you like the most?
Eggs again! I occasionally do fried eggs as part of a healthy fry-up, and boiled eggs for sandwiches, I like eggs but my tummy doesn't, so I don't have many.
8. Activity – how do you keep fit?
My work is physical, as you know, so that helps, I also bike around, I deliver papers by bike every morning normally (not this week as I am away) I also do swim and gym whenever I can. I can't run as my legs and back and lungs are too shot, but I used to love running and I feel useless now that I can't.
9. Christianity – what’s most important for you about your faith?
Wednesday, 10 June 2015
This caught my attention so I asked if I could reblog it, it is a Jersey blogger's post about social media and how survivors can be affected. Thank you to Tony the Prof who blogs about issues in Jersey and the wider world:
WEDNESDAY, 10 JUNE 2015
Sunday, 7 June 2015
Do you like ironing?
No! Anyone who regularly reads my daily blog knows I am obsessive about housework, but ironing is a job I avoid. And most of my clothes are simple non-iron, while my bedding is soft Jersey non-iron, like the bedding I had when I lived in Jersey! :) I love soft clothes and linens and I do very little ironing. I am happy with cleaning ovens and toilets, but I hate ironing. However, I can iron.
Favourite activity in Jersey? What was it, who did you do it with?
How did you get about to places in Jersey?
Mainly I drove, I did do a bit of walking, running and even cycling, but not enough. In my last days in Jersey I had no car and was walking, or rather hobbling, because unnoticed, various issues with my walking had worsened and I didn't know what they were or why. Do you like old fashioned hymns? What is your favourite old fashioned hymn?
I used to enjoy some of the old fashioned hymns a lot, and would often listen to them or sing them, but due to the trauma I associate with Church, I don't really find them easy to listen to any more. I like 'Thine Be the Glory' and 'Amazing Grace' and a few others. I rarely hear or think about hymns any more, because I associate church so much with hurt and flashbacks. Do you like modern hymns? What is your favourite modern hymn?
I like some modern hymns, like most people, I have hymns I like and dislike, and again, I have the same issue of trauma that hymns can trigger, I like 'All to Jesus I surrender' and 'Shine Jesus Shine' and a number of others. Have you every seen people fainting at a church service as part of the service? Yes, I remember it being set up as a kind of show, the people laying on hands manipulate people to fall over, it still scares the hell out of me to recall the amount and depth of manipulation and some of the damage it does to vulnerable people. I suffered other kinds of deep psychological damage in such services and 'healing sessions' and know others who have been put at risk this way. I even had someone making a series of direct complaints to me about being harmed by such things in a church in Jersey, because the horrendous handling of my case meant s/he didn't dare to complain to the Dean or Diocese!!!
Which Jersey Churches did you visit (ie. see)?
Now the questions get harder, I try to remember and my mind goes terrified and blank. I will start by saying I always intended to visit St. Saviours Parish church for the historical side of things, but never got around to it. I did manage to visit the chapel at Hogue Bie a few times when I went to be enthusiastic about the archeology side of things there, awesome! And the story about the sunlight at sunrise? Am I remembering right?
Which Jersey Churches did you attend (not the same question)?
Thursday, 4 June 2015
But it is interesting how many people have read the interviews,
and ANYONE is welcome to submit a series of questions,
and judging by the interest, I am surprised that I am not getting serious church and Jersey questions so much yet.
Interview Questions in bold.
Tuesday, 2 June 2015
Interviewers are still being invited, if anyone would like to send questions in.
Interview questions in Bold:
1. What is your favourite meal? Do you have happy memories of it?
This is a tough question. I have a number of meals I enjoy, and being a creature of habit, I tend to eat them regularly. I guess a good roast dinner is my favourite meal, and when my Mum was well enough she would cook a good roast when I was a child, so I guess that is a happy memory. I can cook a decent roast now, I am proud to say, so I tend to do a roast on Sunday if I have time, and if not, I do a quick chicken Korma, which I also enjoy. When I was young we often had apple pie and custard after a roast, but I am always too full, so I tend to do a 'Healthy Eton' which is merangue with fresh fruit and fat free yogurt.
2. What is your favourite book?
Argh! I do have a tough interviewer! I think I will randomly choose 'Insomnia' by Stephen King. I first read this when I was on the Streets, at a daycentre and it gave me a taste for Stephen King books, I am also very fond of another of his books'Duma Key' . I am not really a fan of horror but what I like about King is that he makes his characters and landscapes very real and imaginable, he has a talent with that, and the horror is generally not nightmare stuff anyway.
3. What is your favourite fruit?
Another tough question! At the moment I have a fruit bowl of clementines, bananas and apples, I am not keen on apples or bananas but I eat them regularly for energy and health, I do like clementines but I guess grapes are my favourites, I have tubs of frozen grapes in the freezer to keep me from craving sweet things, frozen grapes are a great treat and completely fat free, and can be added to cold drinks or ice cream.
4. Do you like marmite? (The killer question)
5. What are your earliest memories of friends?
Unfortunately I don't have many good early memories of friends, my family were very closed and we weren't normally allowed to play with other children and we didn't go to school, so there are few early memories of friends, and I remained isolated for the first 17 years of my life, and by the time I left my family I didn't know how to relate to people, so I have remained isolated.
6. What was the first book you read?
Good question, I am not sure. I remember we had Enid Blyton's 'Noddy'Books and they were among the first books but I cannot remember any more than that.
7. If you could be a character in Harry Potter, who would it be?
8. What countries have you visited in your lifetime?
eee, now you are being nosey! I will be visiting another country in a few weeks, no further comment! But I love islands that deport me for free! :)
9. What languages can you speak?
gibberish, some sign language, some Hebrew, French, Italian, Irish and a few words of German. I also speak nortylanguage, which is a bit like German and a bit like insanity. I have done Irish and Italian courses and as well as enjoying travelling, I enjoy online chatting and also pen palling with people in different countries, and languages are part of the degree course I will hopefully be starting this autumn.
10. Are you a dog person or a cat person (or both or neither)?
I am both, we have a cat and I love him very much, apart from when he bites, scratches or wakes me up during the night, all of which he does frequently. He is mad but very lovely, and I often write about him on my daily blog. My friend has Collies and I love them too.
11. How tall are you? Would you like to be shorter, taller or are you just right?
I am 5'7 and that is just right.
12. Do you like your hair long or short? Why?
My hair is short, and this is because it won't grow long smoothly, if I let it grow, it becomes very thick and messy, and also because my work can make my hair dirty, I keep it short.
13. Apple, Dinosaur, Saturn, Typewriter – which do you think could be the wrong one out? (Give up if stressed!)
These are all the odd ones out from other things. But I will go for the non-word-processing one.
I would go as a hedgehog, complete with fleas, to keep away unwanted attention.
14. If there was a fancy dress ball, who would you go as?
Thank you for interviewing me.
Friday, 22 May 2015
Tuesday, 19 May 2015
Reblogging Bob's blog, seeing as he is shooting his mouth off about my case!
Tuesday, 19 May 2015
Jersey's Dean--All Quiet on the Winchester Front.
It is not surprising that Bishop Gladwin has found the constitutional issues to be complex and that is probably why another review is to be undertaken, so why the silence?
The appointment of Dame Heather Steel was a mistake and for reasons above her Report should be shredded. I should also be given the promised transcript. So why continue to withhold it?
It has been reported that no disciplinary action is being taken against the Dean, however no reasons have been given nor whether the Dean has been exonerated.
It could be said that as the Bishop had no powers to suspend the Dean then he has no power to discipline him. Leaving the matter open to speculation is unsatisfactory.
Given the time taken and of the personal involved the cost of conducting the reviews/investigations are likely to be in excess of the original estimate. The costs are not being met from the Bishop's pocket so why are they being withheld?
Sadly I doubt whether anyone at