https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT4JPs29ekI
Well the road is wide
and the waters run on either side
and my shadow in the fading light
is stretching out towards the nigh
Last night I dreamed that there were people playing cricket up at St. Martins, and because Bob couldn't go and watch, I thought I had better watch for him, it was the least I could do.
I am not a great cricket fan, but all sport is good. When I was young, my version of cricket was daydreaming and then wondering why people were cross with me when the wooden bit accidentally got knocked off the other wooden things by the ball. I got hit by the ball a few times, which explains a lot.
But Bob was a real sillymidoff and LBW. He used to play cricket and then he just talked about cricket all the time, apart from when he wasn't talking about cricket.
Cos the sun is low
and I still have so far to go
and my lonely heart is beating so
tired of the wander
I was going to get a kitten and call it Bob, so I could shout 'Bob, get off the curtains!'
But Bob didn't tend to climb the curtains, Ann used to shout 'Bob get off the computer! (and peel the potatoes or we won't have a meal)'. Bob eventually did go to do the potatoes, but he put Parker on the webcam, and Parker was more interested in jumping out the window and investigating the mice under the shed.
I have decided not to get a kitten for the moment, because I didn't take the downstairs flat this time, but next time it comes up, I will and I will have a kitten called Bob. I hope it behaves itself and doesn't try to do too many good deeds. And no, it won't be a Manx kitten or a police cat. It may be rather stubborn and pig-headed though.
There's a sign ahead
Though I think it's the same one again
but I'm thinkin' about my only friend
so I'll find my way home
I have kept this narration lighthearted so far, but life has been very dark since Bob was taken ill. Some people ask why I care when I was so angry with him. Why? Well because although he went about it the wrong way and hurt me badly, he meant well and he was one person who really did care and did see the horror of the suffering that the Church inflicted. And I blame myself, because I couldn't get him to stop, and he collapsed with the stress just after going on BBC Jersey to defend me without my permission and I was angry with him. Bob couldn't defend me properly because he didn't know my story. And I am left carrying this alone and it is killing me.
Cos when I need to get home
you're my guiding light
you're my guiding light
when I need to get home,
you're my guiding light
Last year in the autumn, my friend was ill and it was found to be cancer, she was a great friend and we never had a cross word and she was a tremendous support to me. By the time the cancer was found, she didn't have long to live.
She went into hospital to have her lungs drained sometimes, she went downhill very fast.
In the autumn as The Church and press and media relaunched their attack, I was starting my first term at university, with the encouragement of my friend who was now dying.
My friend was due in hospital and then Bob collapsed with the stress of his continued involvement in my case. No one can kid me that that that isn't the case. You know it isn't just that a great man collapsed stubbornly doing his own version of a good deed, it is that he was the main carer for his wife who has MS, and he was working to help other people who had problems. It kills me.
Oh, where the air is cold
and yonder lies my sleeping soul
by the branches broke like bones
oh this weakened tree no longer holds
Bob collapsed, and the Jersey bloggers advertised it but didn't know what was going on, and no one contacted me. I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was that my life was as dark as midnight in hell with my new degree course trashed by the church and press and media and my best friend dying and then Bob's collapse. Life has never been light and easy and well, but it has been very dark indeed since last October. I don't know how I get up each day or how I get through each day.
oh well the night is still
and I have not yet lost my will
oh I will keep on moving till
till I find my way home
There was no-one for me to contact about Bob and no one to help me or tell me how he was, so I was alone with the responsibility of his collapse. I am just thankful he was in better hands than my dad when my dad collapsed with his first and second strokes only a few short years ago while the church was destroying me. My mum being schitzophrenic, left my dad collapsed both times and didn't call an ambulance, so my dad died. Bob's collapse was a horrible flashback of that but at least he was in good hands.
When I need to get home
youre my guiding light
you're my guiding light
when I need to get home
youre my guiding light
youre my guiding light
when I need need to get home you're my guiding light
I didn't know how Bob was and if he had died (and I still don't but presumably he is alive and has made a recovery of sorts).
But I kept a candle lit all the time to keep him off the ghost roads, a guiding light. Maybe a bit like the lighthouse in 'The Lovely Bones' only different, and I played this song 'Guiding light' because it echoed the tragic situation and my hope for Bob to be OK. Despite his sometimes misguided actions, Bob was a real man, who used his strength to protect the weak, a man with a clear conscience and a direct path to heaven, although the ghost roads are not nice, especially if you get trapped on them, halfway, like my Dad did.
So lead me on, lead me strong
Life's a road we walk on
and when I need to get home
you're my guiding light, you're my guiding light.
Anyway, I went to the hospital where my friend was, Bob was also there, and I had not expected to see Bob, wouldn't have asked to. But what happened was, I went to leave a card and a letter for him and his family.
The Samaritans said I should ask the nurses at the hospital if Bob's illness really was my fault. So I did, it turned out that Bob was in the bed by the nurse's station and they got me to sit with him.
Bob was breathing on his own, he was awake and lucid and could comprehend. And that helped. The nurse said not to worry about telling Bob I was sorry, because I cried when I tried to, and the nurse didn't want either of us upset. I hadn't thought Bob would be awake if the brain haemmorrage was severe as the bloggers said.
Bob couldn't speak, he had lost the ability to speak and he had lost some sight and movement, but he turned over and looked at me and he could nod and shake his head. I was amazed, I knew he had survived and although nothing could take away the seriousness of his condition, I had hope. I have known too many survivors of strokes and TIAs and I know how serious and lasting the effects are. I remember sitting with my dad after his first stroke and he was fully conscious and able to function, albeit lopsidedly, and he went on to live reasonably well for a while longer, so I had hope for Bob.
I asked Bob if he knew who I was, but he wasn't sure, I told him but I don't know if he understood.
I asked him if he remembered being on BBC Jersey, and he nodded.
I asked him if he knew where he was, but he wasn't sure so I told him where he was and what had happened and how long he had been in hospital.
He didn't know when his family would be at the hospital, and at first he wanted me to stay, but then either he was tired or he realised who I was, and he wanted me to go, so I did, I said 'God Bless you Bob' and that is the last thing I said to him.
I went into the chapel and didn't realise there was someone there so I was crossly berating God and there was a man sitting in the corner eating his lunch. It turned out that he was a Christian member of the hospital staff on his lunchbreak, and he prayed with me for Bob and family and for my dying friend and her family. I don't think he had ever heard someone having words with God like I did that day.
Sitting with Bob reminded me so much of sitting with my dad after Dad's life support was switched off and my brothers and sisters went to get drunk and left me there alone with Dad.
It reminded me of sitting with Ted when he nearly died as well, and Ted made a miracle recovery.
It is a good thing I wasn't alone after seeing Bob, I wrote this, do you remember it?
http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/the-story-of-inspirational-and-moral.html
If I could turn back time, what would I do? How would I get Bob to take my story and not rewrite it and hurt me? I don't think I could, and maybe I knew that what happened would happen, because although he refused to back down and leave the case alone, he told me it was making him ill, he told me he couldn't write his book. But nothing I said could stop him.
And all I can do is live with this and with no one to turn to.
There aren't many people like Bob left in this world, people are getting more selfish and self-interested, so for someone like Bob to fall, the world becomes a worse place. He has great integrity and kindness and a need to help others, even if he insists on doing it HIS way, and he was usually very calm. I can't put right what has happened but I can't carry it any more, I won't survive if I try.
I am the speaker
she has no voice
I speak for her
I am the lantern-bearer
the guiding light
I am not the speaker
I stand beside him, waiting
to banish the shadows
from St. Clements bay
when the end comes
I stand in the shadows
and they never see my face
I am the wanderer
I am one alone
walking in darkness and pain
towards where I fell
on St. Clements Bay
looking for the light
The speaker fell
but I will trade my life and strength for his
he has no voice
give him mine
lantern bearer guide him
not me, I will go instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTfVEaf668Y
This post is the only form of conclusion I can bring to the situation with Bob.
I hope that he doesn't worry or have nightmares and I hope that his family are alright.
There are those who fail
there are those who fall
there are those who will never win
then there are those who fight
for the things we believe
and these are men like you and me
In my dream we walked
you and I to the shore
leaving footprints by the sea
and when there was just one
set of prints in the sand
that was when you carried me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KC3iOD94FA
The lyrics in this post apart from my ones, are from 'Guiding Light' by Foy Vance and Ed Sheeran and 'Snows of New York' by Chris DeBurgh, I hope that they don't mind me borrowing them for Bob.
Thursday 28 April 2016
Tuesday 26 April 2016
Letters regarding the Press
16/04/16
Dear Right Honourable Prime Minister,
I spoke with your call handler at 10 Downing Street two weeks ago
and she suggested that I wrote to you regarding my concerns. It was an ordeal
phoning you as my disability means I can barely use a phone for conversation,
but the situation demanded it.
I have thus written letter of concern and also the attached Open
Letter to the press , to the parties concerned, including the Telegraph and the
Archbishop's Press and Communications representatives and the National Child
abuse inquiry. I will also publish this online, as the only way to stop the
Church's repeat press and media abuse is to shame them, they are above the law
and seemingly above you as you, the only thing that seems to stop their bad
behaviour is simply telling them how bad it is, and most vulnerable people who
they harm cannot do that, and I have paid dearly for doing so.
I have been unwell due to the issue that needs to be discussed but
am now taking action as best I can.
This matter relates to the Church of England's use, or rather
abuse, of the press in the past three years or more since Justin Welby became
Archbishop. There has been one inappropriate and outrageous press stunt after
another, some announce that the Archbishop doesn't know his own Church, and
some, such as the recent ones, announce that he doesn't know his Bible, God, or
the Ten Commandments, which he recently publicly broke for at least the second
time. ('Honour thy Father(s) and Thy Mother, do not use them to glorify yourself
and your Church).
I couldn't believe what I was seeing on the front page of the
Telegraph that recent Saturday, nor last Sunday. I knew that April Fools day
had gone, maybe the Telegraph got the timing wrong?
And unfortunately due to the severe damage to me by the Church of
England, which isn't over, seeing Welby use a Newspaper Headline to announce
his very personal life left me ill and off work, which isn't good as I am
disabled and in poverty as a result. I deliver newspapers as part of my living.
And at a time when the Church are under investigation for mass
abuse, I think Welby's need to force his most intimate personal life on the
general public was inappropriate and also an insult to those of us who are
suffering due to abuse in the church and also the terrible way that the church
handles abuse cases, in my case I remain destroyed and suffering.
Thousands of men in this country do not know who their father is,
thousands are not sure, some don't mind that much, some had a good replacement
father, some feel the loss of the Father they didn't have, but few of them make
the headlines of even the lesser papers, why? Because being illegitimate or
finding out that your father is someone else, even a famous person, is not
headline news. Especially not in a newspaper like the Telegraph, who,
presumably will soon have a heading 'Only 15p! 5p Cheaper than the Daily Star!'
in order to try to keep in circulation.
The Church should not be in a position to utilize the press for
non-Christian blaring and stunts. Welby's stunt last Saturday surely horrified
real Christians who know that this exhibitionism isn't the way to behave in
public, which is why Sunday's headlines added to the horror, other leaders
rallying round him, gagging for some of the press stunt limelight? Why? Is
there no church left that doesn't see through Welby's terrible run of press
stunts and see how unchristian and damaging it is to the vulnerable and to the
Christian Faith?
Unfortunately the 'Clergy Discipline System' within the Church is
a token and inadequate system, there to protect powerful wrongdoers and destroy
the vulnerable, and it was used to harm me and protect wrongdoers, which is why
I am asking you to handle this matter directly. I did make a clergy discipline
complaint about the Archbishop and associated Bishops involved in harming me
through a press publicity stunt three years ago, when they used a whitewash
report into my case to simultaneously defame and destroy me and try to make the
Church look good. I was threatened and my complaint was deliberately squashed.
There never has been such a resounding failure as the church
'safeguarding' attack on me, it did destroy me but the Church broke a number of
laws and now they are being very very quiet indeed about it, and as they continue
the hurtful press campaign but seem unable to answer me regarding the mess they
have made of my case. I would like you to step in and bring an end both to the
Church of England's abuse of the press and their harm to me and other victims.
Please would you call an independent inquiry into the Jersey
Deanery and Diocese of Winchester abuse case, one that looks impartially at
church-police-authorities illegal actions and harm through the press and abuse
of power and repeated acts without my consent. The Church won't engage and have
whitewashed this matter and left me destroyed, a fugitive and in fear of my
life.
I am grateful for your help.
HG
Further Reading:
23/04/2013
Dear Independent Press
Standards Organization,
I am a vulnerable adult who
is at risk if my name and details are published or circulated, this is because
courtesy of the Church of England I have been hounded, smeared and destroyed
through their use of the press for stunts, I was one of Justin Welby's first
stunts, a pretence of safeguarding to make the church look good.
He then left me to be ripped
apart by the press and complete strangers by his misleading of the general
public.
The recent stunt of Justin
Welby making non-news as a headline cements my belief that the Church of
England are paying the press a lot of money in order to make headlines. And
because this is abuse of the press and is inappropriate as well as perverting
public image of Christianity and giving the church limelight, advertising
basically, when they are behaving badly. I feel that something should be done.
This is an especial priority
now because Justin Welby launched his front page 'non-news' conveniently at a
time when the Church of England are being investigated for systemic CSA crimes
that Bishop Paul Butler has tried his hardest to sex up and use to glorify the
Church. Butler is frequently in the press alongside Welby as Church Press
Stuntman, deceiving the general public regarding safeguarding in the Church,
while he has overseen me being vilified and destroyed publicly and has refused
to respond to my distress or intervene.
As an abuse survivor who the
Church have destroyed for press stunts and cover-up, I object to having my day
ruined by Church press stunts when I have to deliver papers in the morning and
am left ill and sickened at Welby's audacity when the Church of England are
under investigation. And I am sure it impacts on other victims that have been
left voiceless and harmed by the Church's continuing inability to safeguard or
respond properly to complaints.
I have been destroyed by the
Church, they grabbed headlines over three years ago to destroy me again in
pretence of looking really good about safeguarding. They had no thought for my
welfare and have left me voiceless, vilified and suffering, without making the
press stunt a fair deal in making sure I was heard in the press on equal
footing. Indeed their efforts to make me out to be insane to cover up a case
that they handled as badly as possible, on top of their throwing me into the
press with inaccurate reports, has led to me being a fugitive who has to
routinely keep their identity hidden in order to protect themselves. I can't be
me, I am living in fear, and all because of Welby's first 'paid up' headline
press stunt.
An organization like the
Church of England should not have the power over the press that they do. And
certainly not for PR stunts that they make into headline news.
I would like to discuss
Welby's string of press stunts and how they abuse the public and also go
against what the church of England stand for (although they only now stand for
it in theory).
The safeguarding stunt of my
case was a desparate effort by the church to avoid investigation for abuse, it
was a series of whitewashes and cover ups that abused and mislead the press and
general public, and it resurfaces every few months and traumatizes me. It is
astounding that Welby used me for his first 'apology' press stunt, of which
there has been an endless stream over the past three years, and then has
allowed me to be vilified and destroyed publicly.
Following his 'apology',
Welby has simply left me to be torn apart by the defendants in my case,
powerful Church dignitaries who he has no control over, lawyers, judges,
members of government, the usual Church of England club congregation, he has
left me destroyed and allowed these conflicted people to abuse their power and
carry out whitewash reports into my case themselves and this has continued to
reach the press and destroy me, while Welby, having mislead the general public,
has left me suffering intolerably and fails to respond to my concerns at all.
What happens to the voiceless vulnerable when the Church have this inappropriate
power over the press?
I am in fear of my life as
lies and whitewash reports regarding my case hit the headlines every few
months. The same press have never even tried to include my side of things and
thus codes of conduct are being breached, surely.
The 'apology' stunts
apparently aimed at vulnerable groups but the real aim is just simply to make
the church look good, and notably these 'apologies' are carried out with no
real interaction with the groups 'apologized' to, and at the same time as
prominent members of the church are harming the same vulnerable groups, for
example while the Archbishop was vaguely 'apologizing' to the gay community and
trotting out the lines written for him by his press and communication
departments on the advice that this will make the Church look good, the Bishop
of Winchester was sacking two members of the clergy for being Gay, while Queens
Chaplain Gavin Ashenden was launching yet another attack on the gay community,
using his status to attack them just as he did the same to me.
I think Welby's press
advisor/writer doesn't research, doesn't think of the welfare of those targeted
and is overstepping a lot of boundaries. Welby appears to go along with what he
is told to say to the press and media, even when he contradicts himself or
invalidates the Church of England.
So there have been the
apology stunts, and the one aimed at me was never delivered in person, it was
purely a press stunt, followed by me being destroyed from then until now, and
eventually I will not be able to endure it, as yet, no authority I have
contacted will prevent harm to me, so could you be the first and stop the
Church from manipulating and abusing the press. I understand you can't extend
this to the BBC, but they and the Church are Birds of a Feather, both with a
long history of abuse and cover up and deception of the general public.
On from the apology stunts,
apparently it needed to be headline news that Welby 'wanted to drive Wonga out
of business' (which would result in people like me ending up starving and
homeless). Welby failed to research Wonga and was shamed by the fact his Church
had shares in Wonga, as well as companies involved with weapons and
pornography! I can't remember who helpfully outed that but Welby blustered and
said the Church would drive Wonga out of business with a Credit Union run by
the Church. He seems to forget that those of us who have been abused and are
thus unwelcome in the Church would be excluded, and many members of the public
who do not like the Church and their bad behaviour would also be excluded.
Every few months, either
Butler or Welby comes out with an outrageous abuse of the press, in Butler's
case it is to mislead about safeguarding and make people think the Church
cares, for example 'praising the courage' of an abuse victim who committed
suicide in the Bishop Ball case. Firstly Butler and other Bishops were in power
and aware of their colleague's caution for abuse and did nothing, secondly what
do the family think of this fat Bishop in the press praising their dead family
member for church glorification purposes when the Church treated him the same
way as they have treated me? This should not be happening. Butler has made no
effort to resolve my case and I have nearly been driven to suicide and am at
breaking point.
I think the reasons that the
Church are not tackled over their outrageous behaviour is apathy, the Church
are a law unto their own and people aren't listened to if they complain to the
Church, a lot of people are being mislead by the Church's press stunts and more
are being hurt, but no one feels that complaining to you is effective, as I
have noted from many comments on social media, but someone has to start
somewhere, and as I am destroyed by the Church and in fear of my life from
their abuse of the press, it may as well be me who starts the objection.
Onwards into the press
stunts. Welby decided that his daughter would make a good showpiece, in the
same manner as he has recently decided that his mother and one of his other
fathers were.
Anyway, apparently this
well-fed daughter of Welby's was feeling sad about a breakup of a relationship,
so Welby decided to insult anyone who suffers genuine mental illness by pimping
his daughter out as mentally ill, the point of this was unclear apart from that
the church are gagging for attention and presumably he hoped this would grab
attention from the public and mislead them to think that there are human beings
in the Church.
Reality is that mental
illness is not a laughing matter and Welby has showed by allowing his church to
publicly attack me on the excuse that I am mentally ill, that he doesn't
understand or care about mental illness. The church have tried to use mental
illness as an excuse to make me not credible, with no understanding of PTSD
that they have caused. The Church being mostly wealthy middle class with
comfortable lives, do not understand human problems such as disability and
trauma, and their abuse of the press using such topics to glorify themselves or
to condemn someone like me is outrageous. I have little understanding of press
guidelines, with only a short course in journalism on my CV, but I do know that
ethically in the wider world and in safeguarding, the church's behaviour is
unacceptable. There isn't any way their misleading self-glorification at the
expense of the vulnerable is acceptable.
A few years ago, Justin
Welby did a Christmas special press stunt, by launching one of his previous
fathers into the press as a drunkard. In this case in his desparation for
attention, the Archbishop broke one of the 10 commandments, as he has done
again recently with another of his fathers, both of whom are presumably dead
and unable to answer his smears of them. How embarrassing and shameless!
Anyway, so for no apparently
reason he did this Christmas special advertisement of the Church as having no
respect for family or privacy or the 10 commandments, it doesn't matter if the
man he was maligning was dead or wasn't his father. What mattered is that he
was making press headlines setting a bad example to his Church and hurting real
Christians who simply do not behave like that. And all of this has gone on
while he has left me suffering and voiceless. I have said to him if he has time
for press stunts, he has time to bring justice and closure to my case, which he
has left open with repeat attacks on me from his church regularly and with my
story not in any reports.
Paul Butler had a spate of
Shameless and ridiculous limelight-seeking press stunts that mislead and amazed
people. He made a huge show of 'handing over' big names to the police in the
press limelight, whoever co-ordinates these press stunts should be very ashamed
of themselves, and so should Butler, and I have asked why the police haven't
brought charges against the Church for perverting the course of justice there
as well as in my case where the church protected two serial abusers and
destroyed me. I think it was a related Butler-led stunt that interestingly just
before the National Abuse Inquiry, decided to tell the press another squeaky clean
safeguarding lie, that they were having files regarding confession or abuse
independently audited, oh what a co-incidence.
In my case the Church called a Church counsellor, a Bishop, a Church
judge and other conflicted people 'independent' and allowed these people to
destroy me, and Butler-Sloss who also features in my case, was also called
independent while protecting Bishop Ball alongside Bishop Gladwin who also
whitewashed my case. Thus I assume the independent auditing so proudly
mentioned in the press was again a misuse of independent and a rapid cover up
and shredding of files before the abuse inquiry, but the general public,
mislead by the church and press, aren't to know that.
I am going to conclude with
the most recent press stunt. Jesus did not say His followers should crow and
strut in the limelight and use their family shamelessly as Welby has done.
Jesus did not remove the 10 commandments. Jesus advocated prudence and
simplicity and fairness. I do not know how Welby managed to conveniently get a
paternity test and buy headlines with it, but it wasn't news, it isn't
appropriate behaviour for a religious leader, and for the other church leaders
to beg for limelight by supporting Welby's outrageous behaviour there is little
hope for the Church.
Most importantly, while the
Church are under investigation for abuse, any headlines that are not necessary
are an affront to victims of the Church, both those who are already under
stress from having to give evidence and those of us who are voiceless and silenced.
Welby's church is very very
messed up and problematic, with a huge amount of wealth and a very exclusive
congregation and a lot of power to abuse, as has been shown in my efforts to
get justice and a voice, so he shouldn't be taking time to discuss his personal
life with a horrified, disgusted, fascinated, indifferent and admiring general
public through newspapers and media that should be working within boundaries to
ensure impartial and good news coverage without offence to members of the public.
What I would ask, if you
may, is investigate how much money is being used to run this continuous press
stunt, as it appears to be enough money to ensure that if Welby wants to talk
about the warts on his toes and vaguely link that to Christianity, the press
will comply without question, even if Welby headlines again the following week
with 'oops, I meant the warts on my hands'.
Also, would you ensure that
the press and media understand the impact of these rudderless press stunts on
the vulnerable, especially those damaged by the Church. If possible remind the
Church of England of their responsibility while they are being investigated for
systemic abuse, that they should not be using the press for unimportant press
stunts while victims have the stress of the inquiry to deal with, these victims
need safeguarding from the Church's needless narcissistic showing off. And
while the Church can't safeguard, they need to take their focus off press
advertising and put it to creating safeguarding within the church.
I really think it is time
that Welby started focussing on bringing some Christianity into his monster,
power-hungry and oppressive church and stopped abusing the press and general
public. Although he may need reminding what Christianity is.
Many thanks,
HG
This is officially CC
Lambeth Palace, the BBC, the Abuse Inquiry and The Telegraph and Mail as a
courtesy.
**********************************
23/04/2013
Dear Independent Press
Standards Organization,
I am a vulnerable adult who
is at risk if my name and details are published or circulated, this is because
courtesy of the Church of England I have been hounded, smeared and destroyed
through their use of the press for stunts, I was one of Justin Welby's first
stunts, a pretence of safeguarding to make the church look good.
He then left me to be ripped
apart by the press and complete strangers by his misleading of the general
public.
The recent stunt of Justin
Welby making non-news as a headline cements my belief that the Church of
England are paying the press a lot of money in order to make headlines. And
because this is abuse of the press and is inappropriate as well as perverting
public image of Christianity and giving the church limelight, advertising
basically, when they are behaving badly. I feel that something should be done.
This is an especial priority
now because Justin Welby launched his front page 'non-news' conveniently at a
time when the Church of England are being investigated for systemic CSA crimes
that Bishop Paul Butler has tried his hardest to sex up and use to glorify the
Church. Butler is frequently in the press alongside Welby as Church Press
Stuntman, deceiving the general public regarding safeguarding in the Church,
while he has overseen me being vilified and destroyed publicly and has refused
to respond to my distress or intervene.
As an abuse survivor who the
Church have destroyed for press stunts and cover-up, I object to having my day
ruined by Church press stunts when I have to deliver papers in the morning and
am left ill and sickened at Welby's audacity when the Church of England are
under investigation. And I am sure it impacts on other victims that have been
left voiceless and harmed by the Church's continuing inability to safeguard or
respond properly to complaints.
I have been destroyed by the
Church, they grabbed headlines over three years ago to destroy me again in
pretence of looking really good about safeguarding. They had no thought for my
welfare and have left me voiceless, vilified and suffering, without making the
press stunt a fair deal in making sure I was heard in the press on equal
footing. Indeed their efforts to make me out to be insane to cover up a case
that they handled as badly as possible, on top of their throwing me into the
press with inaccurate reports, has led to me being a fugitive who has to
routinely keep their identity hidden in order to protect themselves. I can't be
me, I am living in fear, and all because of Welby's first 'paid up' headline
press stunt.
An organization like the
Church of England should not have the power over the press that they do. And
certainly not for PR stunts that they make into headline news.
I would like to discuss
Welby's string of press stunts and how they abuse the public and also go
against what the church of England stand for (although they only now stand for
it in theory).
The safeguarding stunt of my
case was a desparate effort by the church to avoid investigation for abuse, it
was a series of whitewashes and cover ups that abused and mislead the press and
general public, and it resurfaces every few months and traumatizes me. It is
astounding that Welby used me for his first 'apology' press stunt, of which
there has been an endless stream over the past three years, and then has
allowed me to be vilified and destroyed publicly.
Following his 'apology',
Welby has simply left me to be torn apart by the defendants in my case,
powerful Church dignitaries who he has no control over, lawyers, judges,
members of government, the usual Church of England club congregation, he has
left me destroyed and allowed these conflicted people to abuse their power and
carry out whitewash reports into my case themselves and this has continued to
reach the press and destroy me, while Welby, having mislead the general public,
has left me suffering intolerably and fails to respond to my concerns at all.
What happens to the voiceless vulnerable when the Church have this inappropriate
power over the press?
I am in fear of my life as
lies and whitewash reports regarding my case hit the headlines every few
months. The same press have never even tried to include my side of things and
thus codes of conduct are being breached, surely.
The 'apology' stunts
apparently aimed at vulnerable groups but the real aim is just simply to make
the church look good, and notably these 'apologies' are carried out with no
real interaction with the groups 'apologized' to, and at the same time as
prominent members of the church are harming the same vulnerable groups, for
example while the Archbishop was vaguely 'apologizing' to the gay community and
trotting out the lines written for him by his press and communication
departments on the advice that this will make the Church look good, the Bishop
of Winchester was sacking two members of the clergy for being Gay, while Queens
Chaplain Gavin Ashenden was launching yet another attack on the gay community,
using his status to attack them just as he did the same to me.
I think Welby's press
advisor/writer doesn't research, doesn't think of the welfare of those targeted
and is overstepping a lot of boundaries. Welby appears to go along with what he
is told to say to the press and media, even when he contradicts himself or
invalidates the Church of England.
So there have been the
apology stunts, and the one aimed at me was never delivered in person, it was
purely a press stunt, followed by me being destroyed from then until now, and
eventually I will not be able to endure it, as yet, no authority I have
contacted will prevent harm to me, so could you be the first and stop the
Church from manipulating and abusing the press. I understand you can't extend
this to the BBC, but they and the Church are Birds of a Feather, both with a
long history of abuse and cover up and deception of the general public.
On from the apology stunts,
apparently it needed to be headline news that Welby 'wanted to drive Wonga out
of business' (which would result in people like me ending up starving and
homeless). Welby failed to research Wonga and was shamed by the fact his Church
had shares in Wonga, as well as companies involved with weapons and
pornography! I can't remember who helpfully outed that but Welby blustered and
said the Church would drive Wonga out of business with a Credit Union run by
the Church. He seems to forget that those of us who have been abused and are
thus unwelcome in the Church would be excluded, and many members of the public
who do not like the Church and their bad behaviour would also be excluded.
Every few months, either
Butler or Welby comes out with an outrageous abuse of the press, in Butler's
case it is to mislead about safeguarding and make people think the Church
cares, for example 'praising the courage' of an abuse victim who committed
suicide in the Bishop Ball case. Firstly Butler and other Bishops were in power
and aware of their colleague's caution for abuse and did nothing, secondly what
do the family think of this fat Bishop in the press praising their dead family
member for church glorification purposes when the Church treated him the same
way as they have treated me? This should not be happening. Butler has made no
effort to resolve my case and I have nearly been driven to suicide and am at
breaking point.
I think the reasons that the
Church are not tackled over their outrageous behaviour is apathy, the Church
are a law unto their own and people aren't listened to if they complain to the
Church, a lot of people are being mislead by the Church's press stunts and more
are being hurt, but no one feels that complaining to you is effective, as I
have noted from many comments on social media, but someone has to start
somewhere, and as I am destroyed by the Church and in fear of my life from
their abuse of the press, it may as well be me who starts the objection.
Onwards into the press
stunts. Welby decided that his daughter would make a good showpiece, in the
same manner as he has recently decided that his mother and one of his other
fathers were.
Anyway, apparently this
well-fed daughter of Welby's was feeling sad about a breakup of a relationship,
so Welby decided to insult anyone who suffers genuine mental illness by pimping
his daughter out as mentally ill, the point of this was unclear apart from that
the church are gagging for attention and presumably he hoped this would grab
attention from the public and mislead them to think that there are human beings
in the Church.
Reality is that mental
illness is not a laughing matter and Welby has showed by allowing his church to
publicly attack me on the excuse that I am mentally ill, that he doesn't
understand or care about mental illness. The church have tried to use mental
illness as an excuse to make me not credible, with no understanding of PTSD
that they have caused. The Church being mostly wealthy middle class with
comfortable lives, do not understand human problems such as disability and
trauma, and their abuse of the press using such topics to glorify themselves or
to condemn someone like me is outrageous. I have little understanding of press
guidelines, with only a short course in journalism on my CV, but I do know that
ethically in the wider world and in safeguarding, the church's behaviour is
unacceptable. There isn't any way their misleading self-glorification at the
expense of the vulnerable is acceptable.
A few years ago, Justin
Welby did a Christmas special press stunt, by launching one of his previous
fathers into the press as a drunkard. In this case in his desparation for
attention, the Archbishop broke one of the 10 commandments, as he has done
again recently with another of his fathers, both of whom are presumably dead
and unable to answer his smears of them. How embarrassing and shameless!
Anyway, so for no apparently
reason he did this Christmas special advertisement of the Church as having no
respect for family or privacy or the 10 commandments, it doesn't matter if the
man he was maligning was dead or wasn't his father. What mattered is that he
was making press headlines setting a bad example to his Church and hurting real
Christians who simply do not behave like that. And all of this has gone on
while he has left me suffering and voiceless. I have said to him if he has time
for press stunts, he has time to bring justice and closure to my case, which he
has left open with repeat attacks on me from his church regularly and with my
story not in any reports.
Paul Butler had a spate of
Shameless and ridiculous limelight-seeking press stunts that mislead and amazed
people. He made a huge show of 'handing over' big names to the police in the
press limelight, whoever co-ordinates these press stunts should be very ashamed
of themselves, and so should Butler, and I have asked why the police haven't
brought charges against the Church for perverting the course of justice there
as well as in my case where the church protected two serial abusers and
destroyed me. I think it was a related Butler-led stunt that interestingly just
before the National Abuse Inquiry, decided to tell the press another squeaky clean
safeguarding lie, that they were having files regarding confession or abuse
independently audited, oh what a co-incidence.
In my case the Church called a Church counsellor, a Bishop, a Church
judge and other conflicted people 'independent' and allowed these people to
destroy me, and Butler-Sloss who also features in my case, was also called
independent while protecting Bishop Ball alongside Bishop Gladwin who also
whitewashed my case. Thus I assume the independent auditing so proudly
mentioned in the press was again a misuse of independent and a rapid cover up
and shredding of files before the abuse inquiry, but the general public,
mislead by the church and press, aren't to know that.
I am going to conclude with
the most recent press stunt. Jesus did not say His followers should crow and
strut in the limelight and use their family shamelessly as Welby has done.
Jesus did not remove the 10 commandments. Jesus advocated prudence and
simplicity and fairness. I do not know how Welby managed to conveniently get a
paternity test and buy headlines with it, but it wasn't news, it isn't
appropriate behaviour for a religious leader, and for the other church leaders
to beg for limelight by supporting Welby's outrageous behaviour there is little
hope for the Church.
Most importantly, while the
Church are under investigation for abuse, any headlines that are not necessary
are an affront to victims of the Church, both those who are already under
stress from having to give evidence and those of us who are voiceless and silenced.
Welby's church is very very
messed up and problematic, with a huge amount of wealth and a very exclusive
congregation and a lot of power to abuse, as has been shown in my efforts to
get justice and a voice, so he shouldn't be taking time to discuss his personal
life with a horrified, disgusted, fascinated, indifferent and admiring general
public through newspapers and media that should be working within boundaries to
ensure impartial and good news coverage without offence to members of the public.
What I would ask, if you
may, is investigate how much money is being used to run this continuous press
stunt, as it appears to be enough money to ensure that if Welby wants to talk
about the warts on his toes and vaguely link that to Christianity, the press
will comply without question, even if Welby headlines again the following week
with 'oops, I meant the warts on my hands'.
Also, would you ensure that
the press and media understand the impact of these rudderless press stunts on
the vulnerable, especially those damaged by the Church. If possible remind the
Church of England of their responsibility while they are being investigated for
systemic abuse, that they should not be using the press for unimportant press
stunts while victims have the stress of the inquiry to deal with, these victims
need safeguarding from the Church's needless narcissistic showing off. And
while the Church can't safeguard, they need to take their focus off press
advertising and put it to creating safeguarding within the church.
I really think it is time
that Welby started focussing on bringing some Christianity into his monster,
power-hungry and oppressive church and stopped abusing the press and general
public. Although he may need reminding what Christianity is.
Many thanks,
HG
This is officially CC
Lambeth Palace, the BBC, the Abuse Inquiry and The Telegraph and Mail as a
courtesy.
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